


Flawless

by TheLittleMarchHare (freckleder)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-17
Updated: 2014-12-08
Packaged: 2018-02-09 07:52:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 27,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1974900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freckleder/pseuds/TheLittleMarchHare
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>University Au. Kenma is an introverted nerd who simply wants his years as a student to pass as uneventful as possible, but when did something ever go the way he wanted to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. All I Want

Kenma Kozume sat in the lecture hall for his last course of the day, and he was pretty sure that nobody had noticed his slight tension as he looked at his watch for what felt like the hundredth time. He took university quite seriously and always paid attention, but today his thoughts seemed to wander off particularly often.

The reason for that was the new game that was released that day. He was going to pick it up together with Lev right after this lecture, so he was already looking forward to it. After the professor had finally ended their course the crowd moved out of the stuffy lecture hall. Kenma observed the students that were chatting loudly and there was one person that immediately caught his eye. Kuroo Tetsurou was nonchalantly talking to his friend Bokuto Koutarou who probably laughed at something the other one had said.

Kuroo was one of those typical people that ran around campus with a crooked smile plastered on their face as if they ruled the world. He had slept with countless people according to rumours but was never in a serious relationship. He was an outgoing person, always the centre of attention and all together an extremely arrogant and annoying person in Kenma’s eyes.

On the other hand he couldn’t help but admire Kuroo for being so sociable and secure in what he was doing.

Kenma was the exact opposite. He only knew a handful of people, liked to stick by himself and spent most of his free time in his room playing video games. He had tried to socialize when he was younger, but he couldn’t get along with any of the other students. People often described him as indifferent and it was true that he didn’t care about all the trivial things everyone constantly talked about. Nevertheless his apathy was originally caused by the fact that people always made fun of him, no matter what he did. Therefore he started to keep away from large crowds and mainly stayed on the sideline.

But today he wasn’t going to dwell on that, today he was going to stay up half of the night playing the new game.

“Do you also need something while we’re already on our way to the game store?” Kenma asked.

Lev shook his head. “I don’t think so, let’s just buy your game and head back to the dorm.”

“Are you sure? Yaku mentioned that the second floor was throwing a party today and I don’t want to end up running to the store at the last minute because there isn’t enough alcohol or food.” Too often he had ended up being dragged with them to help them carry the heaps of food and bottles of drinks.

“You know, it is actually funny. If you’d just come along one single time you’d know”, Lev insisted.

Kenma just shook his head. It’s not like he cared for those events and he did go there once or twice, but it was just drunk people shouting and being noisy so he went back to his room.

“But you’re right, I’ll give him a call to see if we need something.”

The rest of the way Lev spend arguing with Yaku on the phone whether two bottles of vodka were enough or if they needed some more. In the end they decided to get one more, so after Kenma had bought the game, they stopped by the convenience store that was closest to their dorm.

Kenma himself decided to get some snacks too so he could enjoy his game along with unhealthy food. The other one was meanwhile getting the alcohol and since he had stated that it couldn’t hurt to bring some more than just the vodka Kenma took his time while choosing. In the end he just went for chips but when he pulled them out of the rack he ended up tugging more packages along, scattering them among the floor.

He sighed and went to pick them up, he felt bad if he’d just leave a mess for the employees. Kenma was just stacking them in again when he suddenly heard a familiar voice behind him.

“Oi, we can’t find the nacho dip, do you know where it is?”

Kuroo Tetsurouu was standing behind him with his usual grin, carrying some snacks and probably other food. He was obviously also buying things for the party that night. At first Kenma just stared at him with his amber eyes until he realised that he should probably answer.

“No, I don’t know where to find that”, Kenma answered slowly. Why was he asking him where he could find it? Did he expect him to know where everything of this store was stocked? Kenma was surprised that Kuroo even remembered that they were fellow students.

“What?” He raised his eyebrows and looked clearly annoyed. “What kind of employee are you if you don’t even know where I can find certain products? Is this your first day?”

“I don’t work here”, Kenma said as a matter of fact. “I’m just here to buy food.”

He raised the package of chips to prove his point.

“Kuroo, I found the dip!” Bokuto approached them and held the dip up in the air like a trophy. “Hey, are you also buying stuff for the party tonight?”

 “Wait, you know this guy?” Kuroo interrupted without leaving Kenma a chance to answer.

“Are you even paying the slightest attention to your surroundings? He’s one of Akaashi’s roommates, he even lives on the same floor as us”, Bokuto pointed out.

“Oh, is that so? Sorry, I never noticed you.” Kuroo didn’t look sorry at all.

“Yeah, whatever”, Kenma murmured while averting his gaze.

Bokuto layed his arm around Kuroo and dragged him along. “Right, we’ll see you tonight at floor two!”

Kenma nodded even though he had no intentions of showing up there. He could still here them shuffling around the next aisle.

“Kuroo, that was just plain rude!” Kenma heard Bokuto smack the other one’s head.

“Come on, don’t be so serious. You’re behaving more and more like Akaashi.”

“I’m trying to make a point here. Have you really never noticed him at Akaashi’s place?”

“Nope, maybe because he’s so short compared to Akaashi and Lev, but isn’t it completely irrelevant?”

A second smack could be heard which shut Kuroo up, at least Kenma didn’t hear another complaint. He turned around to go and look for Lev because he had the sudden urge to get home as soon as possible.

“Where have you been, you sure took your time?” Lev asked when he had finally found him.

Kenma shrugged. “I just couldn’t decide which ones to get.”

He didn’t want to tell the other one about his encounter with Kuroo and Bokuto though he wasn’t sure if they weren’t going to make a huge joke out of it and tell it to everyone that evening.

On their way home Kenma kept a fast pace, though Lev, being tall and always taking huge steps, didn’t noticed the difference at all. After they arrived at their dorm room which they shared with Akaashi, Kenma quickly greeted Yamamoto and Yaku, who were both waiting for Lev at the kitchen table with an extremely irritated Akaashi who had probably let them in, and rushed into his room. He closed the door after him and sat down on his bed. After a few seconds the smooth expression on his face slipped and he let the disappointment show. His goal was to not attract attention, but it wasn’t to be so insignificant that people didn’t even notice he existed after visiting the same university courses for two years.

Kenma sighed in frustration. Now he wasn’t even looking forward to playing his game. Nevertheless he started to unwrap it half heartedly when the door to his room opened.

Yaku poked his head inside. “Are you okay, Kenma? You disappeared so quickly in your room, so I just wanted to ask if something happened?”

Kenma faked a smile. “I bought a new game today so I couldn’t wait to finally play it.”

“Oh, so that’s it. From that I can already guess that you don’t plan to come to floor two, am I right?” Yaku looked relieved that he was alright.

“Yeah, I’ll just spend the night with my PSP”, he answered.

“Alright, have fun and if you change your mind, we’re just a floor below you”, he smiled and closed Kenma’s door again.

He could still hear them laughing outside, but he didn’t feel like joining them. Instead he ate his chips while playing level after level, clearing them all. After a while and certainly some alcohol, he could hear them leave loudly. The blond wondered whether Akaashi was going with them as well but he was usually around Bokuto, so he figured that he must have joined them too.

He could still hear the crowd from beneath him, so he just plugged his huge headphones in and turned the volume up in order to drown out the loud voices. He had already finished his package of chips and now his throat felt completely dry, but he didn’t want to get up just to drink a glass of water so he suffered in silence. He let his thoughts wander. Wasn’t it weird how much it bothered him that Kuroo didn’t recognize him? He scowled and focused on his game. Like hell he was bothered! He didn’t need that arrogant jerk’s attention at all, why would it even matter to him.

It was one of those rare times where playing video games didn’t make him feel any better. He considered texting Shouyou for a moment, but first of all he didn’t want to be a bother and Kenma was not sure if he even felt like talking about it. He wanted to go to bed but as soon as he removed his headphones the noise from downstairs was keeping him from getting any sleep. In the end he returned back to his video game and he played until he felt like he could fall asleep with the console in his hands.

The next morning he didn’t feel much better and his lack of sleep gave him a hard time getting out of bed but everyone else was far worse off than him. Kenma had originally planned on dragging Lev with him to uni no matter how hung over he was, after all he knew that they had courses on Thursday, but when he tried to wake the tall one, he just groaned in disapproval and buried his head under his pillow. Kenma hoped that his pounding headache was lesson enough for the half Russian and he left for his first course.

Apparently Lev wasn’t the only one to not turn up for that day, their lecture hall was suspiciously empty. During lunch time the blond sat alone at the cafeteria, eating his lunch. They usually ate at the cafeteria, since no one of them could cook all too well, but Kenma figured that everyone was still asleep or not in the condition to eat an entire lunch.

He still had some time to pass until the next course started so he pulled his PSP out of his bag and continued the game from last night. Luckily Kenma had put it in his bag, now he didn't feel that awkward sitting around completely alone. The blond didn’t have much time to concentrate on his game though, because suddenly he heard a voice behind him.

“You’re really focused when you play these games, aren’t you?”

Kenma flinched in his seat and turned around. Kuroo was standing right behind him, his arms even propped on Kenma’s chair. How long has he been standing there?

“Why are you here, weren’t you at the party last night?” Kenma asked.

Kuroo scoffed. “I know when to stop, in comparison to your friends who are all probably regretting last night right now.”

“Is that so.” He did noticed the slight bags under Kuroo’s eyes, so he was not as unaffected by yesterday’s party as he wanted to make him believe. Kenma glanced at him warily. Why was he talking to him? He couldn’t read Kuroo’s expression at all, it was just the same aloof smile he always wore.

The next moment the console was plucked from his hands. Kuroo eyed it and pressed a few buttons.

“Stop, I’m still in the middle of a game!” Kenma tried to reach it but his arms were too short.

“I want to play too, is it any fun?” He flashed him a smile.

Kenma got up from his seat. When it came to his console the fun had an end. “Give it back. Now.”

“Oh my, there is no reason to get so worked up over video games, is there?” Kuroo was a lot taller than him, so he couldn’t reach it even on tiptoes.

“I said give it back to me...please” he added hesitantly.

“Now that sounds more like it. Let me think for a moment”, he tilted his head to one side as if he were thinking hard. “You know what, I’ll borrow this for today. Why don’t you come to my dorm room and pick it up in the evening?”

“What? No, you’ll break it or sell it on eBay”, Kenma objected. Who did he think he was, just taking his PSP without even asking?!

Kuroo raised his eyebrows. “Do you really think that low of me? I just wanna play too.”

“You’ll mess up my game. Besides, this is my property and you have no right whatsoever to just take it like that”, the blond said with a strained voice. He didn’t want to cause a commotion but he could feel his blood boiling.

“Do you really want to cause a scene at the cafeteria because of a video game?” Kuroo shook his head as if even the thought was ridiculous. “Now excuse me, the next course is about to start.”

He put Kenma’s PSP in his bag and simply walked away. The blond watched him leave the cafeteria, just standing there dumbfounded. He was still trying to comprehend what just happened while he quickly packed his stuff to head to the lecture hall too, he was already running late. 

During the course Kenma’s thoughts were racing. What were Kuroo’s intentions? He didn’t even know of his presence until yesterday, and now he started picking on him. Kenma hoped from the bottom of his heart that there was no particular reason why Kuroo was teasing him and he’d lose interest again after a few days. But whether he took his PSP on a whim or not, he was definitely not going to let that arrogant guy walk over him just like that. If he’d get away with it once then he’ll just do it again. Kenma still didn’t want to discuss it in public, so his options were either talking to Kuroo right after the course or he could say nothing and just pick his console up later.

In the end he didn’t want things to end up like in high school, so he gathered all his courage up and approached Kuroo right after the course. When he saw who kept him company he instantly regretted it, but now there was no going back.

Tsukishima nudged Kuroo with his elbow and nodded in Kenma’s direction. He turned around and looked at him indifferently.

“I assume you have some orientation issues, this is not my dorm room.”

Kenma tried to keep his calm like he always did but Kuroo made it particularly hard for him. “I don’t have any business at your dorm room, so I don’t intend to go there. Now give me back my PSP.”

“I don’t think you got me when I said it for the first time so let me be a little bit more direct: A-B-S-O-L-U-T-E-L-Y N-O-T”, he spelled.  

“But, you can’t just...it’s mine...I...” Kenma was at a loss for words.

“Don’t tell me the oh so apathetic Kenma is bothered by this?” Kuroo said and Tsukishima snickered.

He hesitated. So Kuroo just wanted to make him angry and was trying to provoke him, but he wasn’t going to give him that satisfaction.

“Whatever, I’ll just pick it up later.”

“Now that sounds more like it, don’t you think so, Tsukki?”

Tsukishima rolled his eyes. “I told you to stop calling me that, didn’t I? And it’s not like I care.”

 “Only Yamaguchi is allowed to call you like that, am I right?” Kuroo wiggled his eyebrows.

“Shut up, will you?! Now let’s get going.” He put his headphones on and already started walking ahead. “By the way, Kenta, nice ombre look you got there.”

Did he just say Kenta on purpose or because he had forgotten his name? Kenma wasn’t sure which was worse. And what was an ombre look? He had the feeling that he had just been insulted but he was only sure when he saw Kuroo laughing.

Kuroo eventually calmed down and followed Tsukishima. “See you later at my room.”

When Kenma arrived at his dorm room, the first thing he did was look ombre up. It did take him three tries to spell it right, but in the end he realized what Tsukishima was trying to say. He held a strand of hair in front of his face.  Maybe he should dye it again. On the other hand he wasn’t sure if that was a good idea, he didn’t want to damage his hair too much.

Kenma had first dyed his hair when university had started and then once again at the start of his second year, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted to keep it. He sat on his bed, musing and ruffling his hair, when his door was opened and Lev peeked inside.

“Yo, Kenma! When did you come home?”

“About two hours ago I guess. So you’ve sobered up?” Lev’s hair was dishevelled and he looked like he hasn’t gotten any sleep at all.

“Yeah and my headache is killing me..Kenma, you have to ease my suffering” Lev whined.

“It’s your own fault for drinking so much, what am I supposed to do?”

“I’ll never drink again, I swear. Show a little bit of compassion for your poor friend here.”

Kenma sighed but in the end they sat down in the kitchen and he prepared Lev a strong coffee and handed him a headache pill.

“Are you hungry?” He asked.

“Don’t tell me you’ll cook for me? Do you plan on poisoning me?” Lev said.

Kenma sighed and took a seat next to Lev at the kitchen table. “My cooking skills aren’t _that_ bad. And I didn’t plan to cook something, I was just asking.”

“Yes, they are. Remember when you tried to make pancakes?” Lev giggled.

“Let’s not talk about that.” Kenma had tried to suppress that memory. “So how was yesterday?”

“I still remember everything I did until about three I think, then not so much”, he explained.

The blond was used to his friends’ escapades, so he didn’t even question it anymore. “Didn’t you go together with Yaku and Inuoka, where did they end up?”

Lev was resting his head on the table. “I’ve got no idea but one thing I know. Akaashi has still not returned home.”

“Seriously?” Kenma walked up to Akaashi’s room and opened the door carefully. It was indeed empty.

“I don’t know for sure with whom he’s staying but I think we can both guess where.” Suddenly his eyes lit up. “Oh my god, you won’t believe what I saw. But you’re not allowed to tell it to anyone, absolutely nobody, alright.”

Kenma nodded. He didn’t care that much for gossip but he still wanted to know what the half Russian had seen.

“You know Sugawara, right? He’s a friend of Hinata I think.”

Kenma nodded again. He remembered him, Sugawara always had this concerned look on his face.

“You have to swear to tell that to nobody, not even Hinata.” Lev insisted.

“Yeah, yeah, tell me already.” He slowly started to grow impatient.

“Alright”, he made a dramatic pause. “I saw him make out with Sawamura yesterday.”

“So this is your fantastic news?” Kenma shrugged. It didn’t really make a difference to him, leaving aside whether they had just made out or were a couple. He didn’t have much business with them, so it didn’t affect him what they did or didn’t do in their free time.

The half Russian’s expression faltered. “Come on, how can you not care? Isn’t it exciting?”

“No, it’s not to be completely honest.” Also he had other things to worry about. Should he tell Lev about Kuroo taking away his PSP? Rather not, he didn’t want to bother the other one with his trivial problems. He’d just somehow deal with this on his own.

Later on Akaashi came home and joined them at the kitchen table. They both didn’t dare to ask him where he spent the night, they didn’t have a death wish. After a while Kenma glanced at his watch. It was already 7 p.m. which counted for him as evening. He took a deep breath and got up from his chair.

“There is this thing I have to take care of, I’ll be back right away”, Kenma explained after receiving a confused look from the other two.

“A thing?” Akaashi raised his eyebrows.

“Nothing noteworthy, I’m just going to stop by someone’s place for a second.” He shouldn’t be talking that much, he was just digging his own grave.

“ _Someone’s_ place”, Lev gave him a meaningful look.

Kenma sighed. That’s exactly what he had wanted to avoid. “Not like that, I’m just going to a friend’s place.” He quickly put on his shoes and closed the door behind him before they could ask any more questions.

Kenma took a deep breath. He could feel his heart beat faster and he was suddenly extremely aware of the sloppy clothes he was wearing. Furthermore he had still not figured out what Kuroo actually wanted from him. He didn’t know the exact number of Kuroo’s dorm room, but he knew in which direction he should head. Also all the dorm rooms had name plates outside, so he walked slowly while reading them.

He arrived at the last door which had strangely only two names there. The plate read ‘Kuroo Tetsurou’ and ‘Bokuto Koutarou’ but usually all dorm rooms had three bedrooms. Maybe they had a smaller room because it was the one at the end?

 Kenma’s thoughts raced. Should he knock and then just enter or should he wait until someone opened it? But what if he knocked too lightly and nobody heard it? He couldn’t stay here, what if someone opened the door and saw him awkwardly standing around. So Kenma pressed his back against the cold wall next to the door. He tried to calm down and took a deep breath. Were those voices coming from inside? He pressed his ear to the wall, too afraid to do the same at the door. He could hear faint voices but he couldn’t distinguish them. Now Kenma dreaded to open the door even more. Did Kuroo invite people over to beat him up? Or were they just going to make fun of him? He could already hear them and their mocking voices, laughing at him and his life choices just to make themselves feel better. Kenma felt his chest tighten. He had told himself over and over that this was going to stop once high school ended, he didn’t want to go through that again.

Kenma stood next to the door for at least five minutes, trying to calm down when he finally pushed himself off the cold wall. He didn’t want to, but there was no way around it so he might as well get it over with. He knocked at the door before he could change his mind again and waited for it to open. He figured that it was more polite to wait outside so he just stood there awkwardly when he heard footsteps from the inside. The door opened and for a second Kenma looked at Kuroo’s surprised face but it changed immediately into a smug grin.

“I didn’t think you’d show up for real. Come in.”

He wanted to run away. He wanted to just turn around and head back straight to his room. He had always been bad at dealing with people he didn’t know well and with someone like Kuroo it was even worse. He had no idea how he was supposed to behave so he just nodded as a response and walked through the door.

To Kenma’s surprise there was nobody in the kitchen, the voices he had heard were coming from the radio on the table.

“Take a seat.” Kuroo said.

Kenma shook his head. “I just want my PSP, I don’t want to sit down.”

“I’m not done with you yet, so take a seat.” Kuroo repeated.

He guided Kenma to the bench and motioned him to sit down. Reluctantly he did as he was told, still suspicious and wary. His PSP was laying on the table but he didn’t dare to take it.

“Do you want something to drink? Coffee?” Kuroo said while switching the radio off.

“I don’t drink coffee, I don’t like the bitter taste. Just some water is fine.”

Kuroo’s eyes widened. “Really? Not even with milk and sugar?”

Kenma shook his head. “No, still too bitter for my liking.”

“Then how do you keep awake every day, you don’t appear to be a morning person.”

“I prefer energy drinks to stay awake. I know, it’s pretty bad and coffee is at least healthy but it can’t be helped since I don’t drink that”, Kenma explained.

“As long as you don’t drink heaps of them every they I’m sure they aren’t that bad.” Kuroo shrugged and poured him a glass of water, then proceeded to make coffee for himself.

Kenma observed Kuroo while he was preparing his drink. He had that ridiculous hairstyle of his, as usual. Kenma didn’t even want to know how much hair gel he used on a daily base just to make his hair look like that. Or how much time he spent in the bathroom every morning to style them. He wondered how Kuroo might look with his hair down.

He also noticed that there were only three doors except for the entrance door, which confirmed his theory of their dorm room having only two bedrooms since one door must lead to the bathroom. Kenma assumed Bokuto wasn’t here since it was completely quiet, leaving the coffee machine aside.

After the coffee was finished, Kuroo carried it over to the table and placed it right next to Kenma’s glass of water.

“Move a bit”, Kuroo said.

Wasn’t he going to sit on one of the chairs? He hesitantly moved over and Kuroo sat down right next to him. Kenma kept his arms close to his body, he always felt uncomfortable when people were invading his personal space. He took a sip of his water, unsure why he was even sitting here with Kuroo.

“So...why did you want me to come over?” Kenma mumbled.

Kuroo took the PSP and handed it to Kenma. “I want to watch you play that game on your PSP. I tried it and I don’t get it at all, how can this be so much fun?”

The game he had been playing was one of the few RPG games that got released for the PSP. He wasn’t much of an RPG fan, Kenma preferred strategy games, but once in a while they were a nice distraction and this was even the sequel of a previous game. He switched his console on and decided to explain it right while playing it.

“It’s an RPG game, so you can create your own character. This here is mine,” he showed the display to Kuroo. Suddenly he noticed something. “Why is he wearing such a skimpy outfit?”

“I couldn’t create my own character without deleting yours so I redressed him a little bit.” Kuroo explained nonchalantly.

Kenma changed his clothes back to his original armour without another word and went on with his explanation. “It’s an open world game, so you can run around and explore pretty much everything. You have main quests but you can also do side quests. They’ll get more difficult the farther you come and you’ll be able to equip your character better and you can train his skills.”

All of a sudden Kuroo put his arm around Kenma’s shoulder and leaned in more closely. Kenma flinched under his touch.

Kuroo looked at him with big eyes, looking seriously surprised. “Are you that scared of me? Calm down, it’s simply more comfortable this way and I can see the screen better.” To prove his point he propped his legs up on one of the chairs.

Kenma took back what he had said before, _now_ he felt even more uneasy than before. How can this be comfortable? Couldn’t Kuroo tell that he was not the touchy type of person? But he couldn’t just say that he didn’t like it when people touched him so he just acted as if he didn’t mind it. He was still waiting for the moment when Kuroo yelled something like ‘Fucking nerd!’ and just laughed at him but to Kenma’s surprise he listened to what he said and didn’t interrupt him even once. Once in a while he took a sip of his coffee and made a remark about the game but that was about it. Kenma observed that he drank his coffee completely black, without any milk or sugar.

“Ugh, how can you drink that?” he eventually asked.

“Coffee is extremely healthy but only if you drink it without milk. It encourages cellular autophagy and helps to detoxicate the body, but if you add milk to it that effect gets lost.” Kuroo explained and  held the cup into Kenma’s direction. “You get used to the taste pretty quickly, do you wanna try?”

“No, especially not out of the cup you just drank out.” Kenma shoved it away from him with a disgusted expression. The other one shrugged and took another sip.

After some time he decided that if Kuroo could slouch on the bench he might sit more comfortable as well, so he pulled his legs up and leaned his knees on the table. He always played like this because he could rest the console on his knees. After a few moments he felt Kuroo move his hand and he was reminded in which uncomfortable situation he was trapped. His arm wandered along his back and he started to slowly draw circles.

“Could you...stop that”, Kenma said with a pressed voice. There was only so much physical contact he tolerated but he couldn’t look up to glare at Kuroo because he was in the middle of a fight.

“Doesn’t it feel nice? You are still so tense even though I told you to loosen up a bit”, Kuroo responded.

Kenma shrugged his shoulders to get Kuroo’s hand of but he wasn’t successful. With a sigh he just let him do as he pleased. After some minutes he got used to it and even though he would have never admitted it, it did feel soothing.

They spent over two hours like that, Kenma playing and Kuroo observing the game. In the meantime he had also rested his head on Kenma’s shoulder and his hand had switched from Kenma’s back to his head. The blond had complained again but in the end he let it happen like before.

“You have nice hair,” Kuroo mumbled.

“Huh? Sorry, I was focused on the game right now”, Kenma said.

“I said that I like your hair.”

“Oh,” Kenma didn’t really know how he should respond to that.

“Because of what Tsukki said, I mean”, he said.

“Oh yeah, thanks for laughing” Kenma replied dryly.

Kuroo frowned. “You know, I mean what I said. I actually like it a lot, it suits you.”

Kenma was still not sure whether he was making fun of him or not so he just nodded, but he could feel a faint blush on his cheeks. He didn’t get compliments very often, usually rather the opposite so he felt flustered after hearing Kuroo saying something nice about him. He felt Kuroo’s gaze on him but he acted like he didn’t notice it and kept on playing. Kenma figured out rather quickly that Kuroo didn’t like being ignored because suddenly he leaned forward and pressed random buttons on the PSP, causing Kenma’s character to fall down the canyon.

“No! What have you done?!” Kenma gasped. “Do you even know where we’re going to respawn? We have to do the last quest all over again.”

“Woops, I’m sorry”, Kuroo grinned.

Kenma elbowed him his ribcage and sighed. “As if I couldn’t tell that you’re not sorry at all. Now we have to do everything over again.”

“What a pity, I guess you have to stay a little longer to redo the quest”, Kuroo said.

“I don’t feel motivated right now”, Kenma yawned. “Besides, it’s getting late so I’m going back to my dorm room now.”

“Just finish that quest and then go back.” Kuroo wrapped his arms around Kenma as if he planned to not let go until he agreed to stay.

“Fine...” Kenma eventually said. “But you have to answer me one question: Why am I sitting in your kitchen playing video games?”

“I have my reasons”, Kuroo said with a crooked smile which implied that he wasn’t going to get a more detailed answer to that question.

Kenma didn’t mind playing video games and having someone watching him, he was just overall confused why 1. Kuroo was even talking to him, 2.  anyone would be interested in watching him play video games and 3. he was being so nice to him when he usually had such an arrogant attitude. There was one thing that Kenma was sure of though and that was that he was surely not sitting in this kitchen playing video games for no reason.

He stayed about half an hour longer until he had finished that quest. This time Kuroo didn’t urge him to keep playing since it had gotten quite late and Kenma was already eager to get back to his dorm room. Kuroo accompanied him to the door.

“See you tomorrow at uni, I guess”, he said and leaned against the door frame.

Kenma nodded. “Yeah...good night.”

As soon as Kuroo had closed the door he rushed down the corridor back to his dorm room. There was no light in the kitchen and everybody has already gone to bed. Kenma sat down on his bed and he felt his heart pounding. He wasn’t used to people paying him so much attention and he couldn’t believe that someone like Kuroo seriously thought he was interesting enough to hang out with. He buried his head in his pillow and smiled. Even though he always told himself that it didn’t matter what other people thought, he couldn’t help and constantly worry whether people judged him or not and being liked by one of the most popular people from their study meant a lot to him.

That night he was lying in his bed and thought about the evening over and over again. And he also realised that Lev and Akaashi were going to tease him for coming home so late, he was sure of it. In the end he quickly fell asleep, still thinking about his friends and Kuroo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading the first chapter of this fic and I hope you enjoyed it. I can't get enough of these two cuties lately so I thought why not write this. I hope it's not ooc, I tried my best. Also I plan to write three chapters in total.
> 
> English is not my first language so please feel free to point out any mistakes. That's all I've got to say so have a nice day or night.


	2. Hazy

The next morning Kenma woke up with a groan. Why were his courses always so early in the morning? He got up and threw some clothes on, then he shuffled sleepily to the kitchen. Akaashi and Lev were both already awake and their attention immediately turned to him as soon as he entered the room.

“Mornin’”, he murmured and poured himself some cereal.

“Good morning”, Lev said with a smug grin on his face.

 Kenma sighed and sat down at the kitchen table. There was no way around this, was there?

“So how was your evening?” Lev asked, still grinning.

“It was alright.” Kenma noticed that even Akaashi looked curious.

“You sure stayed for quite some time for it being just ‘alright’. We were already asleep when you came home”, Lev pointed out.

“I was at Shouyou’s place, now quit pestering me so early in the morning.” He wasn’t convinced that they’d buy his lie.

“If you were at Hinata’s place then why didn’t you say so yesterday? You never make a secret out of that, but yesterday you just said ‘someone’s place’ not Hinata’s place.” Akaashi looked at him with raised eyebrows.

Damn, that didn’t work at all. “Why do you even care so much whom I hang out with?”

Lev nudged Akaashi’s shoulder. “See, I told you so. Kenma has a girlfriend, Kenma has a girlfriend!”

“I don’t! Could you please stop, it’s early in the morning and I don’t want to discuss this right now”, Kenma sounded more irritated than he had wanted to, but it was never a good idea to bug him right after he got up.

“Why are you acting so defensive? Maybe because it’s true?” Lev smirked. “Come on, I’m your friend, you can tell me.”

“There is nothing to talk about and now excuse me, I’ll go to the bathroom”, Kenma finally said.

After he had finished his morning routine Kenma quickly grabbed an energy drink and headed to the first course with Lev. Luckily Lev had taken the hint during breakfast and had stopped asking Kenma questions, though he wasn’t sure if he had given up yet.

 

They actually forgot about it, at least they didn’t ask him any questions for over a week. It was Thursday and they had once again a lecture early in the morning. They met up with Inuoka and Yaku, who had reserved two seats for them at the lecture hall. Kenma pulled his notebook out of his bag along with a pen when he noticed that a certain person had just entered the lecture hall and was heading right towards them. Kuroo, accompanied by Tsukishima, Bokuto and a few other people – Kenma was sure that he spotted Yamaguchi and Yamamoto – sat down in the row right behind them. And as if that wasn’t enough Kenma heard Kuroo’s voice exactly behind him.

Kenma felt his anxiousness grow the longer the lecture went. He tried to not let it show but he couldn’t forget the idea of Kuroo watching him the whole time. Kenma still remembered the feeling of his hand slowly drawing circles on his back and moving through his hair. He shivered and ruffled through it. During the whole lecture he fidgeted in his seat. Eventually he leaned back to cover his back and neck but now he was so close to Kuroo that he could hear every move he made. He could hear him scratch his hand and he heard the clinking sound his watch made every time it came in contact with the desk. But most importantly Kenma could hear him breathe, slowly and rhythmically. He didn’t realize that he was holding his own breath while he concentrated on Kuroo. Why was he so aware of him, he usually never cared who sat behind him.

Even the others noticed his uneasiness because Yaku eventually asked “Are you cold? You constantly touch your neck, I could borrow you my scarf if you want to.”

Kenma wasn’t cold, quite the contrary, but he liked the idea of covering up his neck so he nodded. With a relieved sigh he wrapped it around his neck.

They had a lecture subsequent to this one in another room so Kenma never bothered to put his notebook back in his bag. He carried it in his hand when they hectically made their way out of the lecture hall.

Suddenly someone barged into him from behind. Kenma stumbled forward and dropped his notebook while he tried to get hold of something to keep him from falling. Loose papers scattered all across the stairs and Kenma cursed under his breath. He wanted to turn around and glare at the person that had shoved him, but first he needed to collect his notes again.

Yaku, who was walking in front of him, helped Kenma to quickly grab all his notes to prevent them from getting stepped on. Behind him he could hear people sigh in annoyance since he blocked the whole aisle and he believed to make out some snickering in between the irritated voices. Kenma felt like all their eyes were on him. He tried to hurry up even more and ended up dropping a few pages again. When he finally got them all he carelessly crammed them into his notebook and followed the others along with Yaku who had waited for him.

The others had kept them two seats, this time to Kenma’s relieve far away from Kuroo. During the lecture he tried to quietly resort his papers in the right order and smooth all the crinkles out. In the end he gave up and decided to postpone that until lunch.

 

They were eating at the university canteen as usual since they all lacked the motivation, or in Kenma’s case rather the skill, to cook properly. With their uni ID they even got ten percent off the menus. Kenma was just telling Lev why it had taken them so long to get to the lecture hall while they were carrying their trays to a table when, for the second time that day, someone bumped into him. It was just a light shove so Kenma only staggered for a second, but the other person poured their drink all over his tray.

“Oh great”, Kenma mumbled sarcastically.

“Oh, my bad! I didn’t see you there”, the other person said in a familiar voice.

Kenma looked up and saw Kuroo next to him, picking up his now empty glass. Why was he always around lately?

“No problem, you just flooded my lunch. What am I supposed to eat now?” Kenma didn’t have enough money with him to buy a new menu.

“Look, I just said it wasn’t on purpose, alright?” Kuroo repeated in an irritated voice.

“I get that, but you still ruined my lunch.” He pointed at his noodles which were floating in coke.

Kuroo lowered his head and looked directly in Kenma’s eyes. “Well, what do you suggest I should do now?”

Kenma immediately averted his gaze while he spoke. “Y-you could...I mean, I could...just...you know what, never mind.” He’d just eat his salad which was the only thing that didn’t get coke on it. He could also ask the others if someone maybe wanted to share a little bit.

 “How about you just-“ Kuroo started when suddenly someone interrupted him.

“Hey!” Lev shouted while he marched towards them.

Kenma turned around to him, startled.

“You’ll not just brush Kenma off like that. I saw you pour your glass of coke over his tray so share yours with him!” Lev scowled.

Kenma had been concerned when he had first moved in at the dorm. He knew that there were no single rooms and he had never been good at dealing with people. Akaashi had been a pleasant roommate from the start. Since he was older he had given Kenma a lot of advice, he kept the apartment clean and his friends didn’t make a racket when they were over. With Lev on the other hand it had taken Kenma quite some time to get used to him. He was noisy and always spoke too fast. He played music in full blast even though Kenma tried to study, he forgot that it was his turn to do the household chores and he often bothered Kenma when he wanted to be alone in his room. After some time he eventually warmed up to him and since they enrolled for the same course Kenma was thankful for his company. Lev helped Kenma to get involved with other people and without him he’d probably be the same friendless loner like he had been in high school. Nevertheless he had never been as grateful to have him as a friend like he was now as Lev stood up for him.

He towered over Kuroo and looked at him with a cold stare. Kuroo returned the gaze with a sceptical touch as if he wasn’t sure what Lev was capable of doing, but in the end he complied. “You can have my dessert if you want to.”

He put his strawberry shortcake on Kenma’s tray, carefully avoiding the puddle of coke.

“Thanks”, Kenma murmured, obviously uncomfortable by the attention they drew to them.

“And..?” Lev demanded.

“What do you mean with ‘and’?” Kuroo asked.

“You owe him one, you know? Just giving Kenma your dessert is not gonna do it”, he said, still with a stern expression.

Kuroo sighed. “How about I invite Kenma over for dinner tomorrow, I’ll even cook myself. You know, I’m actually a good cook,” he added when he saw Lev’s suspicious gaze.

“What? No, no, no, that’s absolutely not necessary. It’s fine, it was an accident”, Kenma objected immediately but they didn’t pay any attention to his disapproval of that idea.

 “Great, that sounds perfect!” Lev’s angry expression changed to a bright smile in seconds.

“Alright, then just stop by my place tomorrow around six”, Kuroo said to Kenma.

“Lev! Why did you agree to that?” Kenma asked when they sat down at their table.

“It’s nice to have someone else cooking for you, isn’t it? Besides, he did ruin your lunch”, Lev explained matter of factly.

Kenma’s face displayed a troubled frown but he didn’t want to snap at Lev, he did nothing wrong. How should he explain that he didn’t want to go there because he was afraid to bother Kuroo? And Lev even made him go through the trouble of cooking a meal which was not something many students had a talent for. He himself knew how difficult it was to cook, so he didn’t want to cause trouble for Kuroo. He was quite content with receiving his shortcake as compensation, after all he didn’t do it on purpose and as long as he had something to eat for lunch it was alright.

Kenma agreed with Lev while he ate his salad. Everyone shared bits of their food with him and he had the strawberry shortcake too, so in the end he was everything but hungry. They had no courses in the afternoon, so Kenma spent it studying for the upcoming exam. He usually started to study early since he got carried away easily so he was able to buy himself some time.

 

On Friday Kenma was panicking but not for the same reason as the first time he went to Kuroo’s dorm room. He came to the conclusion that they were kinda friends, or at least heading towards that direction, otherwise he’d have never suggested for him to come over again. He still had his doubts, maybe Kuroo had carelessly said that because he wanted to finally eat his lunch in peace or because it was better than paying an entire new lunch for Kenma. But if he liked him that little then he’d never invited him over in the first place.

After some pondering Kenma was convinced that this wasn’t just a huge joke to Kuroo, there were enough chances for the other one to ridicule him but he never did so. Why should he wait so long?

His thoughts seemed logical to him, but Kenma couldn’t stop thinking about possible ways how he could mess up and make Kuroo dislike him. What if he bored him? He wasn’t exactly known for being talkative. Kenma had always struggled with small talk, and while that hadn’t become apparent when they were playing video games where his state of silence could simply be interpreted as being concentrated, he couldn’t not talk to Kuroo while they were eating. He felt his anxiety get worse just by the thought of it.

It was only three pm and he decided that he needed some distraction. Wondering whether Lev had some time to spare he knocked at his door.

A few minutes later they were sitting at the kitchen table and Lev was munching some cereal he had found in one of the kitchen’s drawers.

“Want some?” Lev offered.

Kenma shook his head. “No thanks, I don’t want to eat too much otherwise I won’t be hungry later.” Besides, he didn’t know how long the cereal had been in that drawer. “By the way, thanks for sticking up for me yesterday.”

“No big deal”, Lev said with smile,” You always give in too easily simply because you don’t want to argue. Just tell people when something bothers you.” Kenma was often annoyed at people. Lev could tell most of time, after almost two years he’d gotten better at reading his expressions. He’d grow impatient and answer in monosyllables but Lev’d never tell Kenma, he always seemed eager to hide behind indifference and he didn’t want to make him uncomfortable.

“Yeah, I’m working on it”, Kenma said reassuringly.

Suddenly Lev remembered something. “You know, we’re heading into the city later. I just wanted to let you know, maybe you wanna tag along once in a while?”

“Thanks, but I’d rather stay at home”, Kenma refused politely. “But I hope you’ll have a good time.”

Actually it wasn’t just his dislike of music which was playing so loud that it was impossible to have a normal conversation, crowded places and drunk, vomiting people that made him immediately say no to Lev’s invitation. Kenma figured that it really had to be fun to go out and party, he even accompanied them twice because he thought he might give it a try. It were actually his friends’ reactions that made him change his mind. When he’d ordered an alcoholic drink one of them had said “Look, Kenma is drinking alcohol, can you believe this?” Naturally all eyes were on him and everyone tried to make him drink more to get him drunk. When he was singing along to a song someone suggested that they should take pictures because that was a sight they’d never seen before. When he admitted that another person they spotted wasn’t that bad looking they immediately tried to push him towards their direction and make him talk to them.

He didn’t blame them, but he hated to be the centre of attention. He always thought that they treated him like a joke, as if he wasn’t allowed to enjoy parties, as if it was absolute news to them that introverted people enjoyed going out once in a while too. They made him feel uncomfortable and instead of telling them to stop he just decided that parties were not his thing and stayed at home.

“Actually there’s an exam coming up, maybe it’d be better to study a bit instead of partying all the time”, Kenma mentioned.

“Oh, that. It’s fine, you know that I only start a few days before an exam. ” Lev always spent those days locked up in his room doing nothing but studying.

Kenma sighed. “I’m not one to talk but this study method can’t be healthy. Besides, wouldn’t it be less stressful to just study a bit every day instead of having to learn everything all at once just before the exam?”

“Nah, it’s working quite well and I have more free time”, Lev grinned.

“Don’t you forget everything that you studied right after the exam?” Kenma inquired.

“Sure, but that doesn’t matter, does it? What counts is if you get good grades as a result, it’s as simple as that”, Lev explained. His grades were never bad. Kenma had no idea how he managed to pull that off, but Lev did it somehow.

“Almost. You’ll need that knowledge if you want to find a job later, you know?” Akaashi had been standing in the doorframe of his room for quite a while and had listened to them talk. “I just wanted to let you know that some of my friends will be here on the weekend, we’re studying for an exam on Monday.”

One of the few rules they had set up was that you had to inform the others if you were inviting larger groups of people over in case the others wanted to study in peace.

“Sure, it’s fine”, Lev said and Kenma nodded in agreement.

A little bit later Lev excused himself and left to meet up with Yaku. Meanwhile Kenma faced a struggle he was actually convinced he’d never have in his life. He had no idea what to wear.

On the verge of desperation he roamed through his closet. The main type of T-shirts he owned were nerdy gaming shirts, but today was not the day to look even more like a geek than he already was. He had a few plain single-coloured T-shirts but they were boring. Of course he also owned two shirts but they were too dressy. He was looking for something casual and nice. He wished that he’d sometimes dress more fashionable.

Lev wasn’t here to ask for advice and Kenma doubted that Akaashi’d prove to be helpful. He finally settled on one of his single-coloured shirts. It was burgundy and though he was no fashion expert, he remembered people on campus wearing that colour a lot. He added a pair of grey jeans and when he looked at his reflection in the mirror it didn’t appear to be a disaster so he was pleased with it.

 

‘Maybe I should have brought something for Kuroo? I’ve only seen my parents do this but they always bought boxes of chocolate or wine when they visited someone, it’s not like I could’ve given that to Kuroo”, Kenma thought while he was once again standing in front of his dorm room. He even managed to make himself feel guilty about not bringing anything along. This time he only hesitated for a moment because he was hungry and looking forward to the food.

He heard a voice shouting something and after about half a minute the door opened.

Kuroo beamed at him. “Come in!” He was wearing a black shirt with his sleeves rolled up. It looked good on him, casual.

Kenma smiled nervously and followed him into the kitchen. There were two pots on the stove and Kenma heard the water boil inside, but unfortunately he couldn’t see what was in them.

“Take a seat, the food’ll be ready in about ten minutes”, Kuroo said while he opened the lids of the pots to check on the dish.

The table was already set and Kenma sat down at the same spot as last time. To his relieve Kuroo was sitting opposite of him.

“I hope you’re fine with pasta. I didn’t know if you have any food allergies or which kind of food you don’t like, so I went with spaghetti”, Kuroo explained while he stirred the content of the first pot.

“I’m not really picky when it comes to food, as long as it’s edible everything is fine but thanks for considering that.” Kenma was surprised that Kuroo even thought of that, he was sure that – leaving aside that he wouldn’t manage to make an even slightly tasty meal even if his life would depend on it – that would’ve never come to his mind. He also noticed that Bokuto didn’t seem to be around again, at least he couldn’t hear a single sound coming from his room. He wondered whether it was a coincidence that Bokuto was never around when he was there or not.

The egg timer went off and Kuroo started to prepare the dishes. Kenma was already extremely curious, he just couldn’t imagine Kuroo being a good cook. He didn’t worry about the food being bad, nothing could be worse than the pancakes he had tried to make, but since the other one had told Lev that he was a decent cook he wanted to know if that was just talk or not.

“There you go.” Kuroo was carrying a plate in each hand and put the first one down in front of Kenma.

He inspected the pasta sceptically but it looked good. The only thing that immediately caught his eye were the olives. He did say that he wasn’t a picky eater, but olives were one of the most disgusting things he had ever eaten. Luckily they weren’t chopped up, so Kenma tried to casually move them to one side of the plate. Once he rid one part of the pasta off olives, he tried the spaghetti.

He had had the suspicion that Kuroo lied about being able to cook but he revoked all of that suspicion immediately. It tasted delicious, the tomato sauce was good and the spaghetti too. The olives didn’t leave any traces of flavour so he didn’t mind them.

Only now he noticed that Kuroo had been observing him the whole time.

“And? Do you like it?” he asked.

Kenma nodded. “It’s really good, to be honest I didn’t expect that.”

“Thanks, I’m glad to hear that”, Kuroo grinned and pointed at Kenma’s plate. “You don’t like olives?”

“Ugh, these gross things shouldn’t even have permission to exist. I almost choked on one when I was seven”, he added as an explanation and glared at the olives as if they’d personally offended him.

“Don’t worry about it, just put them on my plate and I’ll eat them.”

Kenma scooped them up on his spoon and carefully moved them to Kuroo’s plate.

A quiet spread while they were eating, but it wasn’t your typical awkward silence. Kenma would describe it as busy silence, they were both focused on their food. When Kenma was finished he carried his plate to the sink and watched Kuroo, who still had some pasta left.

He had actually planned to leave after he had eaten, but the Kuroo insisted that he stayed over for a little bit.

“It’s Friday, there are no lectures on weekends and it’d be a shame to spend the evening alone, wouldn’t it?”

If he was completely honest he had to admit that he was absolutely fine with spending the evening all by himself, but since Kuroo had made him food the least he could do was stay a little bit. He prepared a cup of coffee for himself, then he opened the fridge and handed Kenma a can of monster energy.

“T-thanks.” That took Kenma by surprise. He wasn’t used to people remembering details about him.

Kuroo laughed. “You don’t have to thank me for everything, you know.” He rested his head on his right hand and looked directly at Kenma. He did that a lot and it made him nervous.

“I think I ought to warn you. Tsukki is mad at you because I gave my strawberry shortcake to you since he initially wanted to have it. Don’t worry, he’s mad at me too”, he added when he saw Kenma’s expression.

‘Fantastic, now Tsukishima hates me’, Kenma thought. His snide remarks had already been mean enough, he didn’t want to imagine how he was going to insult him now. But he was going to be fine as long as he avoided Tsukishima which he had already been doing.

“You spilt your drink on my tray, it’s your fault that he’s angry with me now”, Kenma blamed him for that.

“Just come to me if he bothers you and I’ll handle it.”

“As if you could handle Tsukishima.”

“Let’s put it that way, I know someone who can.” Kuroo grinned. “But enough of that, I didn’t invite you over to discuss Tsukki’s mood swings.”

‘Now we’re getting somewhere’ Kenma thought. “Why did you invite me over, then?” He had wondered about that a lot but he had come to no conclusion.

“I like talking to you, isn’t that obvious?”

“Yeah right, I barely say a sentence in ten minutes and you enjoy talking to me...If you just want to make fun of me then get in the queue, you’re not the first one to do that.” Now he was annoyed. Kuroo was messing with him, he knew that. He was always quiet and awkward around people he didn’t know, especially when they were so much cooler than him. It put even more pressure on him and he’d say stupid things and make them even worse by trying to suddenly change topics. They had barely talked when Kenma had been over the last time, at least he had kept quiet most of the time and pretended that he was concentrated on the game. He didn’t have funny and entertaining stories to tell, he was bad at making jokes and he often felt like nothing interesting enough to be worth telling other people ever happened in his life.

“Why do you always doubt me? I was serious about liking your hair – I still am – and I am serious about enjoying talking to you.”

Kenma eyed him suspiciously. “With that superficial smile you look like you never mean what you say.”

“Superficial smile?” he laughed. “That’s a good one, I have to remember that.”

“Oh, I’m glad that you are absolutely not making fun of me, nice of you”, Kenma replied sarcastically. He had said what he thought and got laughed at for it. “And unlike you, I don’t want to talk right now. I’m going home.”

He got up from his seat but Kuroo grabbed his sleeve. Now he wasn’t smiling anymore. “Look, I’m sorry! I was just kidding. And I think we just agreed a while ago that spending a Friday evening alone is no fun. We could watch a movie if you want to? Or you could get your PSP and we continue the game were we left off the last time? You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to, you could listen and I’ll do the talking part?”

Kenma took some seconds to think about it and then he nodded hesitantly. “Let’s just watch a movie.”

“Great”, Kuroo smiled again. “What kind of movie do you want to watch?”

“I’m fine with anything as long it’s not horror, just pick something.”

“You are the guest, so you should choose one.”

“I just said it’s fine, I don’t mind it if you select it.”

Kuroo sighed in frustration. “Fine, then I’ll choose the movie. Let’s watch ‘The Lion King’, you can’t _not_ like Disney.”

“The Lion King? We’re technically adults and you want to watch a movie for kids?” Kenma looked at him perplexed.

“So it’s no good?”

“Are you kidding me? It’s a brilliant idea.” The last time he had watched that movie had been ten years ago. Suddenly he felt extremely excited.

Kuroo even had the movie on DVD so he went into his room to get it. Kenma took a sip out of his drink until he realised something. They’d be watching in Kuroo’s room, wouldn’t they? He’d get to see his room. All the bedrooms were equipped with the same furniture but there was lots of space for personal things. He wondered if he had pictures of his friends up there, what kind of wallpapers he had put on his wardrobe, if his room was messy or tidy or if he collected something.

But Kenma’ll probably never find out, since Kuroo came out of his room, carrying not only the DVD but also his laptop to watch it.

“Are we watching it in the kitchen?” he asked slightly disappointed.

“It’s more comfortable than my room and closer to the fridge which is always good”, Kuroo grinned. “Why do you ask? Would you’ve _wanted_ to watch it in my room?”

He had seen right through him. “No, I was just curious.”

Kuroo set up the laptop and started the DVD. “Is there anything you want to eat or drink? I’m not pausing once it starts.”

Kenma merely shook his head and started at the screen in anticipation. They were sitting at the bench just like the last time, Kenma had his legs pulled up and Kuroo had one arm around his shoulders. He wasn’t even bothered by it anymore, he had already accepted his fate.

A soon as the music started Kenma felt like he had travelled back in time. He still remembered how he had cried every time when Mufasa died and then tried to secretly wipe his tears away so nobody saw it. He sang along to the songs and he had taken his cat and raised it to the sky just like he had seen in the movie.

“I thought you’d do the talking part?” Kenma murmured after a while.

“So what do you want me to talk about?” Kuroo asked.

“Dunno, you pick something”, he shrugged.

Kuroo had an idea. “How about I ask you yes- no questions? That way I’ll talk and you just have to nod or shake your head?”

That didn’t sound too bad. If he didn’t want to answer questions he could just lie without having to come up with a story. Kenma finally nodded. He’d expected Kuroo asking him embarrassing things like whether he was still a virgin, if he had ever wet his bed in his teens or if he had ever called a teacher ‘mum’. It turned out to be more serious than he had thought and Kuroo was asking questions out of genuine curiosity. It was already dark outside which was never a good sign. Kenma knew that he was more willing to talk about personal things the later it got and he already noticed how he was slowly opening up.

They continued with the question-answer game until a certain scene came up. Kuroo nudged Kenma softly. “You know the lyrics to this song, right? You’ll do Timon’s part and I’ll do Pumbaa’s part.”

“What? No, I don’t sing” Kenma refused.

“Come on. I’ll sing too”, Kuroo tried to persuade him.

“I can’t sing.”

“Neither can I...Quick, it’s starting!”

Kenma thought for a second. His singing was atrocious, but everyone else was constantly singing along with songs as loud and false as ever, so why shouldn’t he be allowed to do the same. He took a deep breath and gave in.

“Hakuna Matata! What a wonderful phrase...”

“Hakuna Matata! Ain’t no passing craze...!” Kuroo continued even louder.

They sang the whole song, only interrupted by their laughter and in the end they were both gasping for breath. Kenma was glad that they had the room at the end of the floor so hopefully nobody had heard them sing. It was Friday so probably nobody was here anyways.

“See, that was fun. I knew that you’d know all the words”, Kuroo said and flashed him a smile.

Kenma was still struggling for breath. “Yeah, that was awesome.” He unconsciously leaned onto Kuroo’s shoulder for the rest of the movie.

The next song was ‘Can you feel the love tonight’ and he could feel his cheeks heat up. He always felt extremely awkward being close to another person while a love song played in the background. Kuroo didn’t seem to mind it, so it was probably just him being weird again.

In the end they sat at the table for at least ten minutes after the movie had ended, still caught up in their thoughts. Eventually Kenma sat up straight and rubbed his eyes.

“I think I’ll better get going”, Kenma yawned.

“Alright, I hope you had a nice time, otherwise Lev’s probably going to kill me and we don’t want that.” He ruffled Kenma’s hair and got up.

He accompanied him to the door and, just like the last time, leaned against the door frame.

“Thanks again for the dinner, it’s was really good”, Kenma said.

“No big deal, I actually enjoy cooking”, Kuroo explained.

He grinned. “I’m going to be honest, I was seriously surprised that the food was good. I never thought that you could cook.”

“I’m gonna take that as a compliment, so thanks.”

“No problem. Then I’ll see you on Monday at uni”, Kenma waved and walked back to his dorm room.

Lev was still out and Akaashi was in his room, so Kenma didn’t encounter anyone in their kitchen. He could still remember how his heart skipped a beat when Kuroo had ruffled his hair. What was so good about it anyways? He inspected his reflection in the screen of his PSP.

The more he kept pondering about it the more agitated he got. In the end he went to bed because he couldn’t get his thoughts sorted out.

 

At the next day Akaashi’s friends were coming over, so Kenma did what he always did. He hid in his room and didn’t leave it unless there was an immediate emergency, which included being hungry, thirsty or having to use the bathroom. Unfortunately he had forgotten to bring a bottle of water with him into his room, so eventually he had to go out and drink something. He usually tried to avoid that since all of Akaashi’s friends, just like him, were all a few years older than Kenma and he always felt intimidated by them. Some were nice and chatted a bit with him, but others had this superior aura as if they were judging every single move he made.

Kenma brushed some dust of his shirt and tried to smooth out the wrinkles. Then he took a deep breath and opened the door. The kitchen looked like a battlefield. People were slumped over textbooks, rubbing their temples and cursing their professors. Akaashi typed so hard on his calculator that you thought he might break it in two.

Kenma knew well enough to not disturb them at this critical phase so he murmured a quick “Hi!” and hurried to the sink. Coffee cups piled up in it and he carefully tried not to knock them down.

He drank a glass of water and refilled it to take it with him when one of them suddenly turned around. Kenma had never seen him before. He had wavy brown hair.

“Don’t tell me you’re Kenma?” He eyed him with a smug grin.

“Y-yes...Have we met before?” Kenma was sure that this was the first time he was here, he usually remembered faces really well.

“No, I’m quite sure you never had the pleasure of meeting me. But we’re catching up on that now.” He patted on the spot next to him like he was inviting him to sit down. Where did he know his name from?

Kenma looked at him warily but in the end he felt too awkward to turn him down so he took a seat.

“So, Kenma, I heard a lot about you. Tell me a bit about yourself”, he tilted his head to one side and looked at him directly.

Kenma felt his chest tighten and the anxiety spread throughout his whole body. Who was this guy? What kind of rumours were people spreading about him. “Who are you? How do you know about me but I have no idea who you are?”

He was confused. Usually it was the other way round and people always forgot about him. The way he stared at him, this knowing look, completely threw him off the track.

“I’m Oikawa and I think you’ll pretty soon figure out how I know about you. So, did anything interesting happen lately? Something you might want to share with me?” he smirked.

Suddenly his grin turned into a frown and Kenma was sure that he’d just been kicked under the table.

“Oikawa, stop teasing the kid and start working. Have you even started with the latest exercise?” That was, if he remembered correctly, Iwaizumi. He had been here a few times before.

“What if I told you that I have already solved it? There,” he nonchalantly pointed at a number on his sheet.

“How do you always solve them so quickly, I’ve been stuck on that one since forever”, Iwaizumi complained. “Let me see how you did that!”

“Ah, ah, ah, not so fast, Iwa-chan.” Oikawa raised the sheet above his head so that Iwaizumi couldn’t reach it. “How are you going to learn if you just copy my answer?”

“I’m not copying it, I want to look at it to figure out how that’s done. Seriously, this is the first and the last time I brought you along. The next time you can stay at home!” Then he simply got up and plucked the piece of paper out of Oikawa’s hand.

“Tch, whatever”, muttered Oikawa. Then he turned his attention back at Kenma who hadn’t dared to walk away in the meantime. “You still haven’t told me anything, come on, talk to me! I’m dying of boredom in here.”

“Ehm...I’m not sure what you want me to tell you. I think I’ll better go back to my room, I don’t want to disturb your studying time”, Kenma quickly said and got up.

“Oikawa, don’t make me say it twice. Leave him alone and work on the exercises”, Iwaizumi said sharply as soon as Oikawa opened his mouth to reply something.

“Fine”, he sulked and turned his attention back to the textbook in front of him.

Kenma sighed in relief and hurried back into his room. That guy had been scary. Not like the ones that beat you up but the ones that remember every word you say and to use it against you when the right time comes. He was cautious with words exactly because of these people. Who did that guy know that he knew too? It was not Akaashi, otherwise he could’ve just said that. Maybe he was a friend of Tsukishima? He could imagine them being friends. Maybe he could ask Akaashi later.

 

After everyone was gone Kenma asked him but he himself didn’t know Oikawa all too well so he had no clue. Kenma decided to keep it in his mind but it was soon overshadowed by other events.

On Tuesday he quickly headed to the closest supermarket to buy his food rations for studying which mainly contained energy drinks and lots of unhealthy sweets. He carried the bag back and walked up the stairs to the third floor. He never used the elevator. He had once been stuck alone in one for almost two hours until the engineer finally arrived and helped him get out. He had even been terrified of breathing heavily out of fear to crash down so he preferred to avoid them. Besides, this was the only kind of physical exercise he ever got, so it wasn’t that bad.

He just arrived at his floor when he suddenly heard two people talking in the corridor. Their voices were distant but Kenma still recognized them.

“So I’m not the only one who’s bothered by this?” Tsukishima said.

“No, you’re not. But he can’t be serious, can he?” Bokuto asked.

“Never. God, just look at him. Isn’t his hair ridiculous?“

Bokuto laughed. “I thought so too. And I think it was more than obvious that Kuroo didn’t spill the coke on the tray by accident back then.”

Kenma didn’t even need to hear his name to know that they were talking about him.

“I wonder why he couldn’t realize that but maybe he hadn’t seen it properly since he’s so small. And he even shoved him in the morning when we all walked out of the lecture hall.” Tsukishima added.

“On the other hand, he invited him over twice and every time he threw me out of our dorm room. At first I thought that they were doing things nobody was supposed to know about, if you know what I mean, but in the end he told me everything. They watched ‘The Lion King’, can you believe that?”

Tsukishima chuckled in amusement. “Are you kidding me? Just when I thought this couldn’t get more pathetic?”

“He even made him sing along to ‘Hakuna Matata’. And the first time he was over they were playing some strange PSP game and all Kuroo did was watch him. I think for the next day all he did was talk about this stupid game, but I think he was just trying to annoy me”, Bokuto complained.

“Did Kuroo video tape them singing? I’d pay to see that.” Tsukishima paused. “He’s just messing with him, otherwise he wouldn’t have told you. Besides, isn’t he just some nerdy weirdo? Why would Kuroo ever want to have something to do with him?”

“Yeah, so true. He never talks, he’s so strange. But let’s just hope Kuroo keeps this up for a while, I’m looking forward to more hilarious stories.”

“Make sure to tell me, this has just made my day. I’m off to see Yamaguchi, so see you.”

“See ya!”

Kenma felt like someone had just gripped his guts and tried to tear them out. He was furious and tried to fight the urge to punch a hole in the wall. He’d just end up hurting himself. Kenma guessed that Tsukishima’d use the stairs since waiting for the lift was bothersome, so he quickly walked the staircase up to the fourth floor. He waited until he heard the footsteps fade and rushed to his room. Lev was sitting at the kitchen table and asked him what he had bought, but Kenma aggressively yelled “Nothing!” and disappeared into his room, slamming the door shut. He locked it behind him and threw the bag with drinks and food carelessly in a corner. All the anger he had felt vanished the instant he had stepped into his room.

He sat down on the floor. ‘So that’s how it is. What did you expect? You shouldn’t be surprised’ he thought. ‘That’s what you get for trusting people.’ Kenma tilted his head towards the ceiling. It was his method of trying to stop the tears from coming, but he could feel something cold trickle down his face and knew that it didn’t work. He felt -how Tsukishima had put it so nicely – pathetic.

Kenma could hear Lev knocking at his door but he ignored him and put his headphones on. How could he have been naive enough to believe that Kuroo was different? He felt betrayed, used and humiliated. Kenma had been wary at first, but he had let his guard down and now this has happened. He still couldn’t believe it. Kuroo had done all that on purpose. Maybe he had hoped that he’d fall down the stairs and break his nose.

What bothered him wasn’t that they thought he was a nerd. He liked playing video games and that was no secret. What actually made him feel like someone was pressing all the air out of his lungs was the fact that they called him a _weirdo_. What had he ever done wrong? He didn’t talk much, but other people were quiet too and that didn’t make them strange.

He never made offensive or unfunny jokes.

He was never rude or unfriendly.

He rarely cursed.

He tried to behave as ordinary as possible.

He didn’t know what was wrong with him. Or what other people thought was wrong with him. If he knew it, he’d change in an instant. He just wanted to fit in and he thought he had finally managed that but once again he was just material for their jokes.

Kenma rested his head on his knees and covered his eyes with his palms. He felt like locking himself in and never step outside again. He tried to distract himself all evening but he couldn’t concentrate on anything. Not even his PSP could cheer him up. The console only reminded him of Kuroo and made everthing worse.

Eventually Kenma got up only to slump down on his bed. He curled into a ball and didn’t even bother to change.

When he woke up again he didn’t know how much time had passed but he felt like it were mere seconds. It was dark outside and according to his watch it was 2am.

He quietly unlocked his door and tiptoed into the kitchen. He wrote Lev a quick note so he wasn’t too worried.

 

“I don’t feel well so I’m not going to uni. I’m sorry about yesterday, I was just a bit upset, please don’t worry about it.

Kenma”

 

When he went back to his room he locked it again. His eyes felt sore and hurt under the bright light of his phone. He decided to text the only person he thought he could tolerate at the moment. He needed someone to talk to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter wasn't too rushed and you enjoyed it. I initially planned to let Kenma draw a paw next to his name when he wrote the little note for Lev but I decided that it was too much and scratched that again.
> 
> Once again, I'm sorry if I made any mistakes, feel free to point them out to me so I can fix it.  
> I'd also like to thank everyone for the lovely comments and advice I got on the first chapter. That's all I've got to say so have a nice day or night.


	3. What counts is you

At first Kenma wanted to call Shouyou but his throat was sore and he knew that he’d start crying again. Besides, it was still in the middle of the night so he’d probably not even pick up.

_To: Shouyou_

_Hi! I hope I didn’t wake you up, sorry. Can you come over to my place today? It’s a bit urgent.._

He didn’t expect a reply right away since it was already late but a few minutes later his phone vibrated softly.

_From: Shouyou_

_kenma, r u alright? u never txt me first, is this an emergency? should i come over right now?_

_To:Shouyou_

_No, it’s not that serious. I’m alright. If you don’t have time then that’s ok too..._

Kenma didn’t want to exaggerate because then he’d only make Shouyou worried.

_From:Shouyou_

_i can come over whenever u want to, no big deal_

_To:Shouyou_

_I think it’d be better if you could already come over in the morning, maybe around 9am?_

_From:Shouyou_

_gotcha! then see u tomorrow!_

Kenma caught himself yawning. It was probably for the best to go back to sleep, so he changed into his pyjamas. He felt tired, the kind of tired that made your arms and feet feel heavy. This time it didn’t take him long to fall asleep, just the very idea of Hinata coming over in the morning made him feel at least a tiny bit better.

 

In the morning he was woken up by the merciless buzzing of his alarm. With a single swipe over his phone, skilfully mastered over the years, he switched it off without even looking up. It took Kenma a few moments to realize that he had to get up. He was still drowsy when he got up and his head was aching painfully.

Kenma staggered into the kitchen and to his relief it was empty. Lev had already left for uni and Akaashi was either out as well or in his room and pretended not to be here. Kenma was glad that he gave him some space because he didn’t want to talk about it. Especially not right after he just got up. He grabbed a random energy drink out of the fridge, not even minding which one it was, and downed it.

Kenma thought about taking a headache pill but abandoned the idea again. It’d fade soon since it was caused by his exhaustion and crying from the day before. Hinata would be here in a few minutes so he was looking for some comfy clothes. Kenma finally found his favourite hoodie and put it on in order to feel a little bit better. It was black and had ‘The cake is a lie’ written on it a few times along with a slice of cake. While he was roaming through his closet he remembered how he had tried to dress nicely for the dinner at Kuroo’s place. He almost felt mad at himself for putting effort into it.

After a moment of reluctance Kenma entered the bathroom. He didn’t even want to look at his own face, he felt like a mess. With a sigh he washed it twice with cold water and risked a quick glance at the mirror. He had bags under his eyes but they had been worse before. The swelling had been reduced over the night, you almost couldn’t tell that he had been crying.

Kenma nevertheless avoided to look at his face again and hastily brushed his hair. His damn hair. He hated it. He hated the colour it had at the moment, he hated how Tsukishima had made a snide remark about it and he hated how Kuroo had told him even twice that he liked it. It should have been obvious that he was just mocking him. So much for telling him the truth. Kenma lightly dabbed the corners of his eyes to make the tears disappear again. He didn’t want to look like he had just cried.

When he heard a knock at the door he eagerly opened it.

“Kenma!” Hinata immediately shouted and barged in. “You worried me, what’s going on?”

“Hi Shouyou. Come in first, I’ll tell you when we’re in my room.” He still didn’t know whether Akaashi was home or not.

Hinata pulled something wrapped in tinfoil out of his bag. “I figured that since you feel down you might need something to cheer you up. We had pizza yesterday so I brought you the leftovers! I even removed the olives, don’t worry.”

Now Kenma couldn’t hold back anymore. He did probably the most un-Kenma thing to do ever and hugged Hinata. It took him by surprise, Kenma could tell because he hesitated for a moment. Then he returned the hug so tightly that Kenma almost felt like he was suffocating. He could feel hot tears running down his face and he immediately felt bad for crying on Hinata’s sweater.

“Come on, let’s pop this in the microwave and you tell me what happened while we sit down and drink a nice cup of tea.” Hinata rubbed his back and they both sat down at the kitchen table.

Kenma prepared them both a cup of tea while he heated the food up. Hinata always put heaps of sugar in his tea, so Kenma put the sugar bowl on the table as well.

At first he was reluctant to tell why he had asked Hinata over, but once he began the words started to pour out of him. He told him about Kuroo confusing him as an employee of the supermarket. Then about him taking away his PSP and making him to come to his dorm room. And about how nervous and worried he was and how all his assumptions turned out to be wrong. He described how they sat huddled together on the kitchen bench and how Kuroo watched him play on his console. And he told him about the strange circumstances under which he found himself in Kuroo’s dorm once again. He ended with eavesdropping on Tsukishima’s and Bokuto’s conversation.

He left nothing out except for them singing along to ‘Hakuna Matata’ because after all he did feel embarrassed about that. And not mentioning that little detail didn’t change the story so it was fine.

“So what you are saying is that this _fucking asshole_ pretended to be nice just so he had funny stories to tell his friends?” Hinata calmly concluded at the end of Kenma’s story.

He nodded in defeat.

“I’m going to kill him. I’m going to call the guys and we’re going to beat him up until he can’t move an inch of his body!” He was furious and already pulling his phone out of his bag.

Kenma quickly grabbed the phone and didn’t let go. “No, don’t! He isn’t worth the trouble, I don’t want to cause any unnecessary drama. Besides, he’d most likely want to get revenge if you do that. I want this to get as little attention as possible.”

Hinata huffed angrily and sat down again. “Fine. But if he ever does that again then let me know, we’ll be there!”

“This is not even about Kuroo. I had initially hoped that people at uni were more grown up and not as judgmental as the students during high school. I was so sure of it and then I thought I was on good terms with Kuroo which only convinced me further. I just wished that people had changed but apparently I was wrong.” Kenma took a sip of his tea because he couldn’t bear to directly look at Hinata.

“I told you countless times not to worry so much. You don’t need idiots like Kuroo as friends, they can just go to hell! We’re here for you no matter what and you know that.” He flashed Kenma a smile and he couldn’t help but feel a little bit better.

“But what if Kuroo spreads the story even further? I don’t want any rumours of me circulating around but there’s no way to do anything against it, this is a disaster.” He buried his head in his hands.

Hinata gave him an empathetic look. “Come on, you need a bit of distraction. You’re only hurting yourself by worrying so much. Let’s do something fun, we could play some video games!” He knew that that was the one thing to cheer Kenma up for sure.

He did manage to coax a smile out of him but much to his surprise Kenma shook his head. “I have another idea that’s been on my mind. But it depends, do you have other plans later?”

“No, I’m free. It’s not like I miss anything important at uni, just the same old stuff.”

“So technically you’d have time, because I have a proposal to make. Would you help me dye my hair? I want it to be black again but I need another person to assist me.” Kenma had thought about it and in the end he had decided that he wanted to have his original hair colour back.

“Sure, let’s do it!” Hinata said enthusiastically.

They did some research on that matter on Kenma’s laptop. After skipping what felt like fifty tutorials on how to dye your hair from black to blonde they finally found one talking about the other way round. It turned out to be a good idea to look it up because apparently your hair will turn a greenish mossy colour if you just dye it black. According to the website you had to reverse the steps of dying your hair from black to blonde. You start with a light brown and gradually go darker, so they were going to need several different hair dyes.

“I don’t know, this is probably a bad idea”, Kenma eventually said.

“You brought the idea up yourself, there’s no backing down now! It’s going to look great, what could possibly go wrong?”

“Actually there’s a lot that could go wrong. Worst case scenario would be that I end up with blotchy green hair. I’m not sure if we should do everything in one day..”

Hinata elbowed him in side. “If you wait one hour after it dried or one day isn’t going to make a difference. By the evening you’ll have awesome black hair and even if it’s green and blotchy, as long as you act like it’s on purpose nobody will notice. Have some confidence!”

Kenma sighed. What had he gotten himself into? In the end he had no choice but to comply while Hinata was already looking up some hair colours.

“I’ll send the list to Tobio, I’m sure he’ll go and buy them for us cause I assume you don’t want to leave the dorm today.” He was already typing on his phone.

He was right, Kenma would love to spend the rest of his life in his room if that meant not having to see Kuroo.

“He said he’ll do it. Or rather he wrote that there’ll better be one hell of an emergency for sending him out to buy heaps of hair colour”, Shouyou added when he saw Kenma’s sceptical look. “He might be complaining for the rest of the day about it but he’d have bought them anyways.”

To pass the time they relied on Kenma’s favourite activity, video games. It allowed him to calm down and to distract himself some more. And of course it was super funny. Kenma still remembered how he had played with Shouyou for the first time. He had been full of enthusiasm but he lost every single round. Now he was already a worthy opponent, thanks to Kenma’s teaching, which made the game even more fun.

After a while they heard someone knock at the door repeatedly. Hinata was already at the door before Kenma even had the chance to get up.

He came back into the kitchen, followed by Kageyama who was carrying a plastic bag full of small cardboard boxes.

“Can you imagine the weird look I got from the cashier? Now please tell me which emergency involves tons of hair dye?” He was complaining, just as Hinata had predicted, but he was one of the people that always looked annoyed no matter what.

“Thank youuuu, you’re the best!” Hinata said and hugged him from behind.

“Yeah, whatever”, Kageyama mumbled embarrassedly. “Hi Kenma! Oh, now I see what you were talking about when you said it was an emergency.”

Kenma felt a small sting at Kageyama’s statement but he didn’t say anything. “Hey, thanks for bringing me all the hair dye. And that’s exactly why Shouyou’s here for, it’s not going to stay that way.”

He nodded. “I brought you the colours so you don’t need me here anymore. I’ll get going again.”

“Come on, you just got here! And I could use some help, it’s gonna be fun”, Hinata said.

Kageyama sighed. “Can’t you handle this on your own? I have never dyed someone’s hair before so I won’t be any help.”

Suddenly Hinata’s expression changed. “So what you’re saying is you can’t do it?”

Kenma was about to interrupt and say that it was fine if he went home, when Kageyama replied. ”What are you trying to imply? Of course I could if I wanted to, I just don’t.”

“Yeah, everyone can say that”, Hinata replied.

There was a short silence.

“Fine, I’ll help as well”, Kageyama concluded.

 

“Are you sure you know what you’re doing?” Kenma asked warily.

He was sitting on the kitchen chair with a towel over his shoulders. Hinata was standing behind him and was about to apply the first hair dye.

“Trust me, I’ve done this countless time”, he replied.

Kageyama was standing next to him and held the tin can for him.

“Set the timer, I’m starting”, Shouyou said and brought the brush down onto Kenma’s hair.

He took a deep breath. Now there was no going back. He started the timer so they’d know how long the colour had been in his hair.

Soon enough they separated Kenma’s hair in two parts and both of them applied the dye on one part.  At first they were clumsy and Kenma had hair dye all over his ears, neck and forehead but they improved over the time.

They applied layer after layer, Kenma always washed his hair in between and dried it again. They wanted to spend time it took for one hair dye to set playing Mario Kart against each other, but Hinata and Kageyama got too into the game so they stopped to prevent a fight.

Shouyou also insisted on taking pictures of Kenma’s progress after each colour because it was awesome to look at in the end. Kenma had only reluctantly agreed on that but he stood no chance against Hinata.

“See, it’s already a dark brown”, Hinata said when Kenma emerged from the bathroom.

He was still not sure whether such an impulsive idea was the right thing to do but his mind had been taken off his other worries.

Meanwhile Lev has come home and helped them as well. Actually he wasn’t helping but rather just sitting there and pointing out spots that Kageyama and Hinata had missed. To explain why he was so off the day before Kenma simply used the excuse of uni stressing him out a lot. Since that was a common thing to happen among students Lev didn’t doubt him and was really kind about it.

“Are you sure that dying your hair is not just the aftermath of your breakdown yesterday? I hope you thought it through?” He gave Kenma a worried look.

“I swear, I’m fine. And once we’re finished it’s going to look good”, Kenma said while he eyed his brown hair.

It was already late afternoon when they applied the second layer of black hair dye. The first one wasn’t enough, you were still able to see the difference between his natural black hair and the coloured strands.

Lev persuaded them to colour a strand of his hair as well, just a small one that he could cut off if he wanted to. He came out of the bathroom after he had washed the dye off, grinning broadly.

“Look at my hair! It’s so awesome!” Lev pointed at the dark strand excitedly.

Kageyama raised an eyebrow. “It’s such a small strand you can barely see it. Especially when you’re that tall.”

“Woah, it’s amazing!” Hinata immediately agreed, ignoring Kageyama’s comment.

“I’m going to show you a great trick, I just tried it out in the bathroom.” He took the strand and hid it under the rest of his hair. “I can make it disappear if I want to. Nobody could ever figure out that I have one strand coloured if I have them like this!”

“Kageyama, did you see that? That’s so cool! Maybe I should try it too?” Hinata wondered.

“Don’t you dare dying your hair just because of that!” Kageyama replied firmly.

“I’m sure Suga would say that it’s fine”, he murmured and applied the last bit of dye on Kenma’s hair. “There you go, we’re finished.”

Kenma walked into the bathroom with mixed feelings. He hadn’t acted impulsive when he decided to dye his hair but it was always weird looking at your own face after a drastic change.

He washed the colour out off his hair and blow dried it. When he looked at the mirror he felt like a heavy weight was lifted off his shoulders. It might take him some time to get used to his new old hair colour but he was happy with how it had turned out. The colour was nice and intense now, you couldn’t tell where his roots began.

People always made a big deal about how you should do things for yourself and not for someone else. Kenma always thought that that sounded very hypocritical. Of course it was nice to do things for yourself but the world doesn’t work that way. It is human nature to at least try to some point to fit in and be part of society. And changing something about yourself just so you feel more comfortable in your own skin isn’t anything less worth just because of that point of view.

He admitted his choice to dye his hair had been influenced by the comments he had received by other people over the course of the last weeks but why was that necessarily something bad? He liked his hair and felt more comfortable with it. That was all that mattered.

A faint smile was on his face when he came out of the bathroom.

“So, what do you think?” He asked and swirled around once.

“Oh god, this reminds me off how you looked when you were younger. Now your eyes stick out again, it’s great!” Hinata said energetically. They went to the same middle school but attended different high schools so they didn’t see each other that often during that time. They both decided to go to the same university so now they were spending more time together again.

“It looks so different, but I like it. Let’s take a picture together with our new hair colour”, Lev suggested.

“You dyed one strand, that can hardly be called ‘a new hair colour’” Kageyama mentioned.

Nevertheless, he insisted upon taking a picture so Kenma found himself posing for a selfie with Lev. It looked really awkward because Lev had to bend down a lot while Kenma was already standing on tiptoes. Hinata suggested to use a chair for Kenma to stand on but the still had a shred of dignity left so he declined that offer immediately.

In the end his expression looked forced while Lev was smiling widely but he was happy with the picture.

Hinata and Kageyama stayed a bit longer and he couldn’t thank them often enough for their help. Kenma was still feeling hurt, the betrayal so fresh he couldn’t forget it within a day. Nevertheless it felt good to talk to someone and having his _real_ friends around has brightened his day at least a little bit.

 

Kenma went to uni the next day but he didn’t even glance in the direction of Kuroo. He chose a seat as far away from him and his friends as possible.

It’d probably feel good to shout at Kuroo. It’d most likely feel great to get all his anger out and say everything he wanted to say. Like how he despised him for acting all friendly and then treating him like crap. How he should have known better than to trust someone like him. How he would have been better off if he’d never even talked to him. How he was apparently so insignificant that after two years Kuroo didn’t even recognise him at a store but how he was still good enough to use as joke material. But he couldn’t say that. Of course not. Kenma was sure that he’d never get further than the first sentence without crying, so he avoided him. He didn’t want to have anything to do with Kuroo. He had always been wary of people and this has only proven to him how right he was.

They were having lunch at the university canteen after a course when he suddenly felt two large hands on his head.

“Kenma, what happened to your hair?”

He didn’t even have to turn around to know who was standing behind him. He recognized the voice immediately.

“I dyed it”, he said between clenched teeth. “Stop touching my hair. Right now.”

Kenma didn’t turn around, he just pulled his hoodie up so Kuroo was forced to take his hands away.

“But why did you dye your hair? It was fine the way it was.” The seat to Kenma’s left was still free so he sat down.

“I don’t think that concerns you in any way”, he replied dryly. Then he turned to his right and said to Lev “I’ve finished so I’ll already go back. See you guys tomorrow!” He waved to the others and got up from his seat.

There was still half of his food on the tray but he wasn’t hungry anymore. He could always eat a snack at home so he quickly walked out of the canteen. To his relief Kuroo had apparently gone back to his friends’ table to eat and wasn’t following him.

Kenma hadn’t seen his face but he had sounded genuinely upset by his new hair colour. It gave him at tiny bit of satisfaction.

During the following week Kuroo was basically everywhere. Even more than usual. He tried to talk to him after courses, while they were at the canteen, when they walked past each other at the dorm. Kenma kept up his silent treatment and ignored him. He always made sure to sit in between two of his friends and immediately put his headphones in when Kuroo appeared.

Lev had asked him confusedly what Kuroo wanted from him but Kenma had simply answered, “Don’t pay him any attention, he’ll stop in a while.”

As if Kenma’d be stupid enough to fall into his trap again.

 

At the next Saturday Kenma was completely alone. Lev had gone home to visit his family and Akaashi was out with friends for the whole day, they were talking about playing laser tag if Kenma recalled it right.

He loved these days to no end. Not that he didn’t like his roommates, but it was always so busy with three people sharing a dorm. Now that he felt unwatched he could sing along to songs, half dancing through his room while tidying up. Kenma’s room was always on the messy side but he absolutely completely didn’t want to study at that moment so he used his roommates absence and cleaned up instead.

Kenma was in the middle of restacking the books on his desk when suddenly the doorbell rang. He didn’t expect any visitors and there was nobody else here than him. Nevertheless Kenma quickly threw on a sweater to hide the old, shabby shirt he wore.

Whoever was waiting at the door was now keeping his finger pressed against the doorbell.

“I’m on my way!” Kenma shouted irritated.

He turned the music off and opened the door. In front of him stood Oikawa, carrying a pack of energy drinks.

“Hey there! Took your time, didn’t you?” he said.

“Akaashi isn’t here”, Kenma replied flatly.

Oikawa laughed. “You seem eager to get rid of me. But I’m here to see you, not Akaashi. Or who else do you think drinks this unhealthy stuff?” He lifted the energy drinks and handed them to Kenma. “I brought them especially for you. Now let me in, I’m tired from standing around out here.”

He didn’t wait for Kenma’s reply and simply walked past him into the kitchen.

“Can you at least put your shoes off?” Kenma said while he watched Oikawa get comfortable on the bench.

“You’re cleaning anyways, aren’t you?”

Kenma sighed and sat down as well. Why was he surrounded by annoying people?

“So why’re you here?”

“Well, you sure are blunt. Won’t you at least offer me something to drink?” Oikawa said.

Kenma rolled his eyes. “Do you want something to drink?”

“No thanks, I’m good.”

“What? But you just said to offer you something?” Kenma said in disbelieve.

Oikawa grinned. “I never said that I wanted something to drink, just that it’d be polite to offer me something.”

Kenma rubbed his temples and repeated his first question. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m upset.”

Kenma waited for a second but that was all he said. “So?”

“Do you know why I’m upset?”

“No, how am I supposed to know?” This was slowly starting to get on his nerves.

“I’m upset because Kuroo is upset.”

Kenma went rigid the moment he heard that name. Of course, he was a friend of Kuroo. He tried to keep a calm look on his face.

“Do you know why Kuroo is upset?”

“What do I care?” he replied bitterly.

“Kuroo is upset because you are upset. And I’m here to talk to you because he is annoying the hell out of me right now. It was already unnerving when he kept talking about you the whole day. So tell me what’s wrong so we can fix that so I don’t have to listen to him whining around all day.” Now Oikawa was the one to sigh. “Oh, could it be that you found out about _the thing_?”

The thing? If he was talking about him figuring out that Kuroo just used him to joke about his oh so pathetic life then yes, he knew about the thing. But maybe it was best to not reveal everything he knew right away.

“ _The thing_?” he inquired.

“Yeah, the thing between Kuroo and...” Oikawa left the sentence unfinished and gave him an expecting look, as if he’d know whom he was referring to it he’d have known about ‘ _the thing’_.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” This time he was telling the truth. He had no idea what this thing between Kuroo and someone else was supposed to be.

“Oh, don’t look at me like that. I won’t tell you. Just ask him about _the thing_ and he’ll know what you mean. It’s more fun to have him explain it to you”, Oikawa grinned again. “But feel free to come to me and complain about it if you eventually figure it out.”

“No thanks. And I have no intentions of asking him. Or talking to him at all”, Kenma replied dryly.

The other one chuckled. “You always act so indifferent but you do care, you can’t hide that.”

“I’m serious when I say I don’t care.” He really wanted Oikawa to go. Kenma was in no mood to talk about Kuroo.

“I assume you’re not going to tell me what bothers you so much that you can’t even talk to him?”

“No, I’m not”, Kenma said. “Do you need anything else?”

“Just one question, then I’m gone.”

Kenma shrugged. He was sure that Oikawa would ask no matter if he said yes or no.

“What have you done to your hair?”

Now Kenma finally snapped. “Are you serious? People said it looked stupid before and you’re telling me that it looks stupid now. You know what, I couldn’t care less. I like it the way it is now and I’m keeping it that way!”

“Oh, seems like I hit upon a touchy subject”, Oikawa smirked.

Kenma simply glared at him. Oikawa stayed for at least another ten minutes but Kenma carefully avoided the topic Kuroo. Then he finally decided to leave but Kenma’s Saturday was already ruined.

When he was alone again his thoughts circulated around Oikawa’s words. Kuroo was apparently upset because he didn’t talk to him anymore. So upset that he was unnerving his friends to the extent of them coming to his dorm room to ask what was actually going on. Talking about weird.

Kenma had the feeling that there were still some things that needed to be unravelled, it all made no sense to him. Wasn’t it all just a huge paradox? Some statements contradicted others but he didn’t know which ones to believe. The more he thought about it, the more confused he got.

If he’d smoke then this’d probably be the right time to go outside and do so. But since he didn’t smoke –and never intended to do so – Kenma opened his bedroom window to let some of the cool air in. Maybe that’d help him to clear his head a little bit.

Eventually he ended up in front of his books. The exam was on Thursday and he had initially planned to revise this week, but he wasn’t finished yet and still needed to study lot. Kenma wondered if Lev had even opened his textbooks but he knew him well enough to figure that he’d start on Sunday when he returned to the dorm.

 

On Sunday Lev arrived, already looking stressed out. “Oh god, I looked at the material on the train and it’s so damn much. How am I supposed to make that?”

“I don’t want to repeat myself all of the time but I think starting a tiny bit earlier to learn might be helpful”, Kenma said.

Lev through a cushion from the kitchen bench at him but Kenma dodged it quickly.

“Too slow!” he grinned, but the next second another cushion hit him right in the face.

 

Lev spent the next few days like a hermit in his room, only leaving to use the bathroom and to eat and drink something. Though Kenma had started earlier with studying, he was also doing little else except for roaming through his books. He only went to uni on Tuesday because it was his favourite course, but the lecture hall had been almost empty. He assumed that almost everyone was taking the exam on Thursday. Kuroo was not there either, not that he was looking for him. At least that’s what he told himself.

The exam was right in the morning on Thursday. They always went for a coffee after an exam and discussed the questions, and from comparing their answers Kenma could already tell that he was probably going to pass. He rubbed his eyes and listened to Inuoka explain how he had gotten the wrong test and started to freak out because he didn’t know a single answer until he had realised the mistake. He had gotten five additional minutes to finish his exam.

Kenma suppressed a yawn. As soon as he got home he planned to take a short nap. He didn’t get much sleep last night because he was revising until 3am. Lev had his head buried in his hands and Kenma was sure that he was already half asleep.

“Lev..Hey, Lev!” he nudged him with his elbow.

Kenma only received a growl in return. He nudged him a bit harder and this time Lev’s head slid off his hands and banged on the table.

“Ugh, what is it?” he complained.

“We’re leaving. Hurry up, the faster we are at home the faster you can go back to sleep.”

With a big sigh Lev got up and they marched home to catch up on some sleep.

 

Kenma woke up in the late afternoon. The sun was about to set but he didn’t feel rested at all. It was rather an exhaustion that couldn’t be fixed with sleep. There had been a lot going on lately, more than usual and he felt like he needed a few days just for himself to calm down again.

Apparently the universe had other plans for him because a few minutes he heard a soft knock on his door.

Lev peaked in. “There’s someone at the door for you.”

Once again he wasn’t expecting any visitors. What was up with people showing up at his door uninvited?

“Who’s it?” he asked while he was already getting up.

“Better have a look for yourself.”

Kenma walked out of his room and his stomach flipped. Kuroo was leaning against the doorframe and was waving at the sight of him. Kenma turned around and got right back into his room.

“Can you please send him away. I really don’t want to deal with this right now”, he told Lev.

“Kenma, don’t you think that one day you’ll have to talk to him? I have no idea what’s going on and I’m sorry if I’ve caused you trouble by making him invite you over for dinner but he’s really persistent. Go talk to him and tell him to leave you alone or something”, Lev said.

“But I don’t want to”, Kenma complained but he knew that Lev was right. He couldn’t avoid Kuroo forever.

Kenma peeked out of his room. Kuroo was still standing there. He glanced back at Lev who gave him an encouraging nod. He rolled his eyes but stepped out of his room nevertheless.

“Hey..” Kenma tried to sound as unimpressed as possible but his knees were shaking.

“Hi! Do you want to go for a walk, you know, so we can talk?” Kuroo suggested.

Kenma shrugged but he was all for going somewhere else because he could feel Lev’s gaze on them.

They walked out of the dorm next to each other but Kenma made sure to keep a one meter distance between them.

“So, how did the exam today go for you?” Kuroo asked.

“Fine.” Kenma didn’t even tried to keep the conversation going. If Kuroo wanted to talk then he should talk.

“Mine went alright too though I’m not so sure about some questions. These tricky multiple choice questions are always so confusing, it always feels like all the answers are the same”, Kuroo said.

“Yeah.”

Kuroo sighed in frustration. “How long are you gonna keep this up? Because I’m trying to have a serious conversation here.”

“Oh really? I don’t think there is anything that needs to be discussed but feel free to talk. Didn’t we talk about this before? You do the talking part and I just listen?” Kenma replied bitterly.

They were walking around the neighbourhood through random streets, not really paying attention to where they were going.

“Why are you so mad? Was it something I’ve done?” Kuroo asked.

“You are asking me if you’ve done something? Are you kidding me?” Kenma asked in a shaky voice. “I don’t know but let’s ask Tsukishima or Bokuto or Oikawa, apparently everyone is so well informed about my damn pathetic life.”

“What? Now I’m confused. What’re you talking about?”

“I’m talking about how you just pretended to be nice so you could make a joke of me. I’m talking about how you poured your juice over my tray on purpose or how you shoved me at the lecture hall. I’m talking about how you told _everything_ to your damn friends! Did you really think I wouldn’t figure that out? Did it ever, maybe even for a second, cross your mind how that’d make me feel?” Kenma shouted and while he tried to hold back tears. “You are the most inconsiderate asshole I’ve ever seen and you even dare to ask what’s wrong?”

Kuroo looked dumbfounded. “But Kenma, I –“

“No! I don’t want to hear your stupid explanation. I was so wary of you in the beginning but then I thought you were seriously trying to be friends and let my guard down. Guess I was right from the start. You humiliated me in front of your friends and made me feel like the biggest idiot in the whole world and now you keep running after me and pestering me. Can’t you just leave me alone?” He felt hot tears stream down his face.

“Crap! This is not how I intended everything to go.” Kuroo said with a guilty expression. “I swear, I have a good explanation.”

He led Kenma to the next bench and they sat down, people had already started to stare. Kenma wiped the tears off his face and hung his head low. Kuroo tried to lay an arm around him but he immediately brushed it off again.

“Don’t touch me!” He wanted to sound furious but his voice was still shaking.

“Sorry...do you need a tissue?” Kuroo asked.

Kenma shook his head and moved as far away from him as possible.

“I think I should start with an apology...I guess there is no point in lying so those things you mentioned about me pouring the coke over your food or shoving you are kind of true. But I didn’t want to cause any harm. I just needed an excuse to talk to you. For example I wanted to help you pick up the sheets of paper. Actually this sounds more irrational now that I say it out loud. Sorry, I guess I’m not as smooth as everybody always assumes”, he rubbed the back of his neck. “But you are always so wary, I had no idea how to talk to you.”

“Yeah, you couldn’t recognize me at the store but you absolutely wanted to talk to me”, Kenma scoffed.

Kuroo’s face turned red. “I just saw someone staking the chips in and when you turned around and I saw it was you I panicked and acted like I couldn’t remember you. I get embarrassed too, you know?”

Kenma kept quiet and tried to retain his composure.

“And I did talk to my friends but I wasn’t making fun of you. It made me really happy when you stopped by my place and I just wanted to talk to someone about it.” Kuroo hid his face behind one hand.

“Are you sure about that? Because I overheard Tsukishima and Bokuto talking and it didn’t sound all too nice what they were saying”, Kenma said quietly.

“What? But they both knew that I was...no wait, I don’t think they realized that. I’ll talk to them, I swear they didn’t mean it. They probably assumed that I was just messing around because you’re not the type I usually go for...” Kuroo explained.

Now Kenma was confused. “What do you mean the type you usually go for?”

“God, do I have to spell everything out for you?” he snapped.

Kenma’s mouth was wide open. He couldn’t be right with his assumption, could he? This was ridiculous.

“You don’t believe me, do you?” Kuroo asked. “Listen, you are one of the most precious people I ever met. You are talking so passionately about video games and get so into them, you always scowl at the screen but you’re actually enjoying yourself. And you’re probably the only uni student in this whole world that manages to survive without coffee. You’re so careful and cautious at first but once you warm up to someone you joke around and laugh and you should do that more often because your smile is lovely. And now please excuse me because I need a second to die of embarrassment.”

Kenma could feel his face heat up and he covered his mouth and nose with his hands. “If you tell me that someone is standing behind a bush and is filming this then I swear won’t stop Hinata from killing you”, he muttered and he felt tears in the corners of his eyes. He was crying an awful lot these days.

“There’s nobody, I guarantee that”, Kuroo grinned. “I wouldn’t want to risk being killed by Hinata and his friends.”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry”, Kenma said softly while he tried to casually wipe his tears away.

“Why’re you apologizing?” Kuroo asked confusedly. Had he done something wrong again?

“No, it’s just t-that I’m sitting here, crying like a loser”, he stuttered. “And people are still staring at us.”

“It’s fine, I don’t mind if that’s what you’re concerned about”, Kuroo reassured him. “We should go inside, it’s already starting to dawn.”

Kenma nodded but he still didn’t get up. “But I look like I was just crying, I don’t want to walk through the dorm like that.”

“I could wrap my jacket around you like so...” He put it around Kenma and pulled the hood up “...and nobody is going to notice a thing.”

It was much too large for Kenma so he almost disappeared in the jacket. He pulled it closer around his face and got up.

Kuroo laid on arm around him and pulled him closer. “Now everyone will think you’re just feeling unwell, alright?”

Kenma nodded and leaned closer to Kuroo. The jacket was still warm because he had worn it until now. It had Kuroo’s scent and Kenma felt like keeping it forever.

“Do you want to come to my room? We could watch another movie and calm down a bit. Or do you want to go back to your dorm room?” Kuroo asked carefully when they arrived at the dorm.

“Y-your room is fine”, Kenma said hesitantly and bit his bottom lip.

 

When they entered Kuroo’s room Kenma tried to look around as inconspicuously as possible. It was surprisingly neat, not much lying around and the walls were empty except for a few pictures of Kuroo and his friends. Only on his desk were many books and packs of paper piled up but even they were neatly stacked.

“Right there are all my movies, pick whatever you want.” Kuroo pointed at one particular shelf and quickly got them something to drink from the kitchen.

Kenma read the movie titles but not many rang a bell to him. He wasn’t much of a movie person, simply because he always considered it a bother that movies were so long. He never felt like sitting down for two and a half hours just for some plotless blockbuster. Of course watching a movie with another person was something completely different.

“I don’t know which one we should watch. Can’t you just choose one?” he replied.

Kuroo came back with two cups and placed them on his desk. “We’re not having that conversation again. Close your eyes and whichever movie you point at is the one we’re going to watch.”

Kenma nodded and closed his eyes. He randomly moved his hand around and stopped at some point. “So that one it is.”

“Ugh, I don’t like that one. Try again.”

“No, I’ve seen that one a thousand times. Let’s try again.”

“I don’t know, this one’s boring. One more time.”

“Hmm...nah, not this one either. This is the last time, okay?”

Kenma sighed. “Why don’t _you_ just pick one? I said I don’t mind whatever we watch.”

“Fine, I’ll choose one. But don’t complain later if you don’t like it.”

He had a TV in his room so they didn’t have to watch on his laptop. After he had set up everything he sat down on his bed and leaned against the wall.

Kenma awkwardly sat down on the edge of his bed. He had suddenly gotten very aware of how it was just the two of them in Kuroo’s bedroom.

“Are you gonna sit there for the whole movie?” Kuroo laughed. “Come here..”

He patted on the spot next to him. Kenma reluctantly moved closer when Kuroo suddenly wrapped his arms around him and pulled him between his legs.

“Let me go, what do you think you’re doing?” Kenma struggled to get his hands off.

“Isn’t this nice? You can lean your back on me”, Kuroo grinned.

Kenma had stopped to fight him and slowly leaned his back on Kuroo’s chest. Nevertheless he was merely touching him and mostly supported his weight on his own.

“I’m not made out of glass, lean back properly or I’ll pull you even closer”, Kuroo said.

Kenma grinned. “Is that a threat?” He himself couldn’t believe that he could still make jokes under these circumstances. He was sure that his hands were shaking.

“Maybe..”

Kenma laughed nervously but he gave in and leaned back completely. It was surprisingly pleasant, he had rather imagined it uncomfortable for him and Kuroo was well.

Kuroo kept his arms loosely wrapped around him during the entire movie. Eventually he also rested his head on Kenma’s shoulder.

“I’m not your pillow..” Kenma muttered but he let it happen anyways. He could feel Kuroo breath in and out, it gave him a weird sense of security that he couldn’t explain.

“Kenma?” he asked quietly.

“Yeah?”

“Please dye your hair back.”

“But I like the way it is now.”

“It is nice, I didn’t say that. It makes your eyes stand out more which is lovely. I just liked your previous hair style a lot, it was so unique.” He pressed his forhead against Kenma’s head.

Kenma was glad that Kuroo couldn’t see his face because he turned bright red.   

“Kuroo?” he asked after a while.

“Yeah?”

“What is _the thing_? Something between you and some mysterious stranger?” Kenma had not forgotten about that.

“The thing? I have no idea what you’re talking about. That’s only nonsense, just forget it.” Kenma might not be a detective but even he could tell that Kuroo was lying.

“Tell me, I want to know”, he inquired.

“How do you even know about _the thing_?” Kenma felt Kuroo sigh next to his ear.

“Oikawa told me to ask you about it and I’m sure he must have had his reason to mention it, don’t you think so?”

“Damn that bastard! His reason is only to cause trouble and confuse you. I’m not going to tell you about the thing...at least not right away”, Kuroo said.

“What? You can’t keep secrets, that’s not fair”, Kenma protested.

“It’s no big deal, really”, Kuroo tried to reassure him. “And you’re missing the movie if you keep talking.”

“I haven’t been paying attention all too much so I don’t mind, you can tell me.” He had been too restless to concentrate on the movie anyways.

“I knew that you won’t like it. See, that’s why I said that you should choose a movie”, Kuroo said.

“No, no, the movie’s fine. It’s not that..”

“Then why haven’t you watched?” Kenma felt him lean forward. “We’re halfway through but if you want to then we could start again.”

“I’m just a bit tired from the exam and everything, you don’t have to.” Maybe not the best lie he had ever come up with but he was really a bit sleepy.

“You can lie down too if you feel like it”, Kuroo mentioned.

“This is already quite comfortable, I’m fine.”

Although he was only slightly tired he ended up dozing off during the movie. When Kuroo woke him up the end credits had already started.

Kenma rubbed his eyes sleepily and yawned. “Now I didn’t get to see the movie at all.”

“We can watch it again next time”, Kuroo shrugged.

“Yeah, sounds good”, he answered casually but inside he was freaking out. Next time? Oh god, there was going to be a next time.

Kuroo glanced at his watch. “You better get back to your dorm, it’s already getting late.”

Kenma agreed and slowly got up. He stretched his arms and walked to the door. Kuroo accompanied him, as usual leaning against the door frame.

“Are you going to uni tomorrow?” he asked.

“Yes, I missed the rest of the week so I’m going. How about you?” Kenma asked.

“Same goes for me. So see you tomorrow I guess.” He wrapped his arms once again around Kenma and hugged him.

“I’m sorry about all the trouble I caused. I hope you’re not mad at me”, he whispered.

“I’m not mad, you did have a good explanation after all.” Kenma said.

Kuroo loosened the hug to look directly at Kenma. “Sure?”

Kenma averted his gaze and blushed. It made him nervous when he was staring right into his eyes. “I’m alright, seriously.”

Kuroo eyes lit up and he was smiling. “Really?  Then why is you face so red?”

“Stop it, you’re embarrassing me...” Kenma was still watching their feet.

“Kenma?”

He looked up again. Kuroo pulled him closer and kissed him. It was a tender kiss, soft and it left Kenma breathless. He was staring at Kuroo dumbfounded and with big eyes after they broke apart again.

“What, that bad?” Kuroo laughed and flashed him a smile.

Kenma only shook his head in response.

“Then see you tomorrow!” He ruffled Kenma’s hair and waved him good bye.

“R-Right...t-till tomorrow!” Kenma replied with a shaky voice and walked into the direction of his dorm room. As soon as Kuroo closed the door he started to grin from one cheek to the other. He had been kissed by Kuroo Tetsurou! He repeated it over and over in his head. Maybe this year was not going to be as boring as he had expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah, I didn't plan to make it that cheesy but look what happened. I initially planned to reveal what 'the thing' is about but in the end it would've been material for another chapter and since I didn't want this one all too long I decided to leave it out. Sorry about that. 
> 
> Nevertheless I hope you enjoyed this fanfiction, I had a lot of fun writing it and I might already be planning a longer fic about Kuroo and Kenma but I don't want to tell you too much. I'd also like to thank everyone for the nice comments I got on the last chapter. That's all I've got to say so have a nice day or night.
> 
> EDIT: I was away last week and during that time I was already feeling bad for not revealing what 'the thing' is and now I came back and I'm overwhelmed by the messages I got. I never imagined that so many people wanted to know what 'the thing' is so I will write one more chapter to explain everything. Sorry for being so indecisive and changing my mind all the time.


	4. Epilogue - Add it all up

Kenma buried his head in his hands. He was sitting in the kitchen with Lev and they had been studying for the whole day. It was one of the rare occasions on which Lev had finished studying as well which left them a few days to revise together. Kenma glanced at his watch. In half an hour he’d finally be able to go over to Kuroo’s place.

They had been dating for three weeks now. Kenma hadn’t told anyone except for Hinata. What if Kuroo changed his mind and broke up with him after a short while?

He wasn’t exactly keeping it a secret but he wasn’t going to tell them unless they precisely guessed it.

On top of that he wasn’t even sure about his own feelings. Being with Kuroo gave him this warm, protected feeling that he wished would never stop but on the other hand he was still feeling extremely insecure. He didn’t know how to act around Kuroo. He had never been in a relationship before and though he got the basic idea of it he was always worried that he might do something wrong.

They usually hung out at Kuroo’s place since they had a different group of friends at uni. They did chat when they saw each other, but during lectures Kenma sat with his friends and Kuroo sat a few rows away with other people.

He had spent an embarrassing amount of time staring at Kuroo during classes though. He had nice hands and long, slender fingers. Sometimes he casually rubbed his neck and it made Kenma want to climb over the seats and hug him and kiss him but of course he hasn’t told him that. He often wondered if Kuroo was thinking the same when he looked at him.

 

“Where are you off too, grinning like an idiot?” Lev asked with a knowing smile while he piled the books up.

“Oh shut up, I’m just going to a friend’s place”, Kenma mumbled.

Lev gave him a look but he ignored it.

 

Every time he met up with Kuroo there was this strange feeling of nervousness and anticipation at the same time. His heart was hammering in his chest as he knocked on the door. Kenma could hear some noises and someone stumbling to the door. A second later Kuroo opened it.

“Hey there! I was already waiting for you to come over.” He leaned down and gave Kenma a kiss on his forehead.

“I told you to stop doing that, it’s embarrassing”, he complained.

Kuroo grinned. “Then stop being embarrassed so easily.”

“That’s not the solution I wanted to hear. We’re at the doorway, at least wait until we’re inside.”

“Do you want to argue or do you want to come inside? I made food for us all.” Kuroo had figured out pretty quickly how to tempt Kenma.

“Food sounds pretty good right now”. He hadn’t even noticed how hungry he had been and followed Kuroo inside.

He did get suspicious when he heard voices from the kitchen but Kenma assumed that Bokuto had someone over as well. What he did not expect was Bokuto and Tsukishima already sitting at the kitchen table. As soon as he entered the room they both got quiet and looked at him.

“H-hi! I-I didn’t know that you had a guest over...I don’t want to bother you, I’ll just come back later”, he stuttered, directed towards Kuroo.

“No, no, stay! I thought it’d be nice for all of us to eat together.” He squeezed Kenma’s shoulders in affirmation.

Kenma eventually nodded. He couldn’t exactly go back home when he had only arrived minutes ago.

They sat at the table in awkward silence while Kuroo prepared the dishes. Kenma was the last person in the room to make an attempt at starting a conversation and simply played with the napkin in front of him.

He was sure that they knew that he eavesdropped on their conversation otherwise there’d be no reason for Bokuto to always hurry in his room as soon as he stepped a foot in their kitchen. He had never spoken to him properly or apologized but at least he felt sorry for speaking about him in that manner. Tsukishima on the other hand didn’t look sorry at all. He sat opposite of Kenma and eyed him up and down without even trying to hide it.

To say Kenma felt uneasy was an understatement. What was Kuroo thinking they’d do? Talk it out and then skip through a daisy field while holding hands and smiling?

“You are allowed to have conversation, you know?” Kuroo handed them two plates and sat down with another two. “Anyways, let’s eat.”

Kenma kept his gaze fixed on his plate until Kuroo took his hand and put it in his. He didn’t mind holding hands but he couldn’t help but turn slightly red with Kuroo’s friends watching them. Tsukishima rolled his eyes which didn’t help to improve Kenma’s confidence.

Kuroo tried to start conversation but they didn’t last very long. “So did you guys know that Kenma got one of the best scores on the last exam? He told me that he wasn’t sure if he had done well and then he’s one of the three best students.”

“It was no big deal, really. I got lucky and the exam was fairly easy”, Kenma hurried to say.

“Wow, that’s so awesome. I wish I’d ever score that high on an exam”, Bokuto said.

Kuroo laughed. “Maybe if you’d study a bit more, that’d help.”

After they had finished they all had a cup of coffee except for Kenma who had a cup of tea instead. Kuroo had squeezed himself onto the bench next to Kenma and slowly moved his arm around him. He casually started to play with his hair until Kenma finally spoke up.

“Kuroo, what are you doing?” he muttered between clenched teeth.

Tsukishima scoffed. “Yeah, what are you trying to do there?” That was probably the first time that he and Kenma agreed on something.

“I don’t see a problem here. I just like to hug my boyfriend. A lot”, he emphasised and pulled him even closer. Meanwhile Kenma felt his face heat up. “Are you jealous?”

Tsukishima raised one eyebrow. “Like I’d ever be jealous of you.”

“Really? Then please do tell us how brilliant your love life is going right now”, Kuroo said with a fake smile.

He regarded Kuroo with a cold stare but he didn’t say anything. Was Kenma just witnessing Tsukishima being at a loss for words?

But before he could come up with a retort Kuroo’s phone rang and he gestured them to be quiet for a moment.

“Yamamoto, what’s up?”

“You are _where_?”

“I said bring it on Thursday, not Tuesday!”

“Yeah, yeah, we’ll be waiting for you downstairs.” He hung up with an annoyed sigh.

“Yamamoto is currently moving and he’s giving us his old couch that he doesn’t need anymore. He was supposed to bring it on Thursday but he’ll be here in five minutes so me and Bokuto are quickly going downstairs to pick it up. Tsukki, you come and help as well!”

“No, why do I have to help carrying _your_ couch”, Tsukishima replied and made no intentions of moving.

Kuroo rolled his eyes. “Fine, stay here. We’ll be back in five minutes, it’s not going to take long.”

“I want to help too, you didn’t even ask”, Kenma interrupted him.

“It’s alright, I was just joking around. The two of us are enough to handle it, it’s not that heavy”, Kuroo explained.

He and Bokuto left a minute later while Kenma and Tsukishima remained waiting. The tension in the air was almost tangible. Kenma was about to get his phone out of his pocket to pass the time a little bit faster when Tsukishima spoke.

“Kuroo is one of my best friends and I’ve known him since we’re little so you understand that I treasure the friendship we have. Lately he’s been talking about you a lot, Oikawa was not exaggerating when he told you that.”

Kenma didn’t know how to respond to that. Tsukishima had probably not made his point yet so he gazed at him and listened.

“He cares a lot about you but I don’t think I need to tell you that. What I’ve been wondering is, what about you?

How much do you care about Kuroo?

Do you even care?”

Kenma’s eyes widened. “I...Of course I care! What leads you to the conclusion that I don’t?”

“I just got the feeling that you’re only half-heartedly in this relationship so I want to confirm a few things. How much do you actually know about him?

When is his birthday?”

“It’s...It’s on...His birthday is..” Kenma started to panic inwardly. He didn’t know.

“What is his favourite colour?

Is there any food he dislikes?

What shows does he like to watch on TV?

Does he play any sports?

Do you see where this is going? I’m telling you that he puts all of his effort into this relationship and to get to know you while you don’t even know the most basic things about him. Are you sure you are qualified to call yourself his boyfriend?” Tsukishima gave him a cold stare.

Kenma frantically tried to think of an explanation but he couldn’t. He had just never asked Kuroo about all these things. In fact he had never asked Kuroo anything.

Tsukishima raised one eyebrow. “Has that thought not crossed your mind even once?” His voice was full of judgement and now it was Kenma who was at a loss for words.

“B-but..I’m not sure what I can ask and what I can’t. There’s this _thing_ everyone knows about – you know most likely already what I’m referring to – but apparently it’s some sort of secret that I’m not supposed to know. He keeps secrets and hides things, that’s not what a good relationship is based on.” He had tried for the past few weeks to not let it get to him but he couldn’t help it. Kuroo keeping secrets from him hurt.

“Oh, he still hasn’t told you?” Tsukishima sneered. “Since I’m obviously informed about this I wouldn’t mind telling you, in case you are interested.”

In retrospect Kenma admitted that he might have acted too impulsive but he nodded his head. He was too curious to pass up on that opportunity.

“Well, it’s my utmost pleasure to reveal this “secret” which is that we’ve been going out for about two years during high school. Actually it was even two and a half years to be completely honest. Kuroo said not to tell you. I don’t understand what the fuss is about.” He shrugged.

Kenma’s eyes widened and he unconsciously covered his mouth with his hand. He felt like someone had pushed him off a cliff and he was falling, never hitting the ground. He started to stammer a response but a moment later they could hear two loud voices shouting through the corridor and the door being opened.

“Move a bit faster, it’s so heavy!”

“I am already moving faster. Just concentrate on navigating, I can’t see a thing!”

They walked into the kitchen, Kuroo first with his back to the direction they were heading to and Bokuto at the other end guiding them to his room.

“Kenma, could you open the door?” Kuroo asked.

It took him a second to realize he should move but Tsukishima had already gotten up. “I think he needs a second, there you go!”

Kuroo didn’t think too much about the implication of that statement, he was too eager to finally put the large couch down again. They quickly arranged it at the right spot in Bokuto’s room and got back to the kitchen.

“Sorry it took so long, we were chatting a bit with Yamamoto”, Bokuto explained.

“Wow, isn’t it getting awfully late?” Kuroo said suddenly and looked at his watch and then at Tsukishima.

He rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, I get the hint. I’ll get going so you two can have some time for yourself. I’m sure Kenma’d like to have a nice chat about something, isn’t that right?”

“What? No! I mean, I don’t have anything in particular to discuss. There’s nothing we need to talk about. Absolutely nothing.” Kenma was aware that he had sounded suspicious but he was still feeling overwhelmed by all the new information.

He had never imagined that this would be the big secret that Kuroo didn’t want him to know. Now that he was aware of the fact that he’ll always be compared to Tsukishima he wished he hadn’t asked him. Kenma felt like the pressure was crashing him and giving him trouble breathing.

 

Kuroo’s room was neat as usual, with the exception of a stack of DVD’s besides his bed. Kuroo had insisted on watching all of them because they were apparently ‘classics’ and it was a gap in education that he hadn’t known them before.

“I still need to study a bit for the upcoming exam, I hope you don’t mind.” Kuroo pointed at a book on his table.

Kenma nodded. “It’s fine, I have my PSP with me.”

They often did this. Kuroo was lying on his stomach and read something while Kenma propped his head up on his back and played on his PSP. As much as Kenma was scared of closeness, being like this with Kuroo felt effortless and always helped him relax.

Today on the other hand it didn’t improve his mood at all. He couldn’t concentrate and always messed up. He ended up pressing random buttons just so Kuroo thought he was still playing for at least ten minutes until he spoke up.

“When’s your birthday?”

“Huh?” Kuroo looked up from his book.

“You never told me when your birthday is.” Kenma repeated while he bit the inside of his cheek.

“It’s the 17th of November. Where did that question suddenly come from?”

Kenma shrugged. “I didn’t know so I asked. Do you mind?”

He laughed and ruffled through Kenma’s hair. “Why would I? Ask away.”

It made Kenma smile as well for a second, but his troubled expression was back soon.

Kuroo pushed himself off the bed and sat up. “You’ve been agitated this whole time...Is it because I invited you over along with Bokuto and Tsukki?”

Kenma nodded barely noticeable. Kuroo put an arm around him and pulled him closer. “I’m sorry. This was a terrible idea but I just wanted to brag with my cute boyfriend.”

Usually he’d have complained about hating to be called cute but he just looked away from Kuroo and focused on the carpet to his right.

“Was it something Tsukki said while we were away? He can be quite direct sometimes.”

“Really? I never noticed, thanks for letting me know.” Kenma rarely got sarcastic but he felt increasingly unwell the longer their conversation lasted.

Kuroo looked concerned. He wasn’t used to Kenma being stingy about something.

“It’s nothing. Really”, Kenma emphasised after Kuroo gave him a stern look. He didn’t want to bring it up right now. He needed some time to sort his thoughts out.

“Sure?”

He nodded again. Kuroo pulled him even closer but he slipped out of his hands. “I’ve been revising the whole day and if I stay here any longer I’ll fall asleep this instant so I’ll better get back to my room. “

“You can stay over, the bed is large enough for both of us”, Kuroo said and raised his eyebrows suggestively. Kenma knew that he was joking around but he only managed a weak smile.  

 

Kenma paced restlessly through his room. He had tried calling Shouyou for advice – and he rarely ever called anyone – but he hadn’t picked up his phone.

He needed someone to tell him that he was overthinking and creating problems that weren’t even there in the first place but he couldn’t help it. One notion had been at the back of his mind for the whole evening and now that he was alone in his room he finally allowed himself to give it some deeper thought. What if Kuroo was only using him to make Tsukishima jealous? It would make so much sense in Kenma’s eyes. Tsukishima was tall, smart and had the same kind of independence and laid-back attitude as Kuroo. They had a lot in common personality-wise and they carried themselves with the same confidence.

Kenma on the other hand was full of self-doubt and everything was so new to him. He was bad at keeping in touch with people, he didn’t know how to tell others what he was thinking and feeling and most of all he was afraid of losing Kuroo because he remained too passive.

Kenma ended up making a decision where he wasn’t entirely sure if he had the guts to really do it the next day but he went to bed with determination.

 

“You want me to give you what exactly?” Akaashi asked with mild interest.

“I-Iwaizumi’s address...I need to talk to Oikawa about something and he said I should ask for Iwaizumi’s place” Kenma said quickly.

“Of course, it’s not far from here. I’ll write it down for you.” Akaashi was back a minute later and handed him a note. “By the way, do you want to go and grab something to eat? You’ll have more luck catching Oikawa in the evening anyways.”

Kenma nodded. “Sure and thanks.”

Akaashi didn’t question why he needed to talk to Oikawa – Kenma was extremely thankful for that - and even showed him the building on their way. Though Kenma wanted to go to Iwaizumi’s place that day he had to keep Lev company who was sulking because they forgot to ask him if he wanted to join them.

 

The next day nevertheless Kenma found himself in front of the apartment complex they lived in, to his surprise less nervous than he expected himself to be. Maybe it was because first of all he had no other option to contact them and Oikawa had shown up uninvited at his doorstep as well therefore Kenma assumed he wouldn’t mind if he did the same.

Iwaizumi answered when he rang the door and let him in. He didn’t seem bothered by Kenma randomly showing up but when he opened the door he was greeted by a frown.

“H-hi! I’m sorry for coming here without informing you first but Oikawa told me to come over when I needed to talk to him about something”, he explained while he stepped inside.

“I’m not mad at you, it’s rather someone else who keeps inviting _his_ friends to _my_ apartment instead of his own one”, Iwaizumi said with emphasize.

“I’ve no idea who you’re talking about, is there a third person that keeps inviting people over to our apartment?” Oikawa shouted from the living room.

“It’s _my_ apartment, not ours! And I’m talking about you, Trashkawa!” He pushed his hair back with a sigh. “Sorry, I think you understand that he’s a handful most of the time. Can I get you something to drink?”

“Water is fine.” Kenma warily walked into the living room while Iwaizumi headed to the kitchen to get him something to drink.

“Didn’t take you long to get here, did it?” Oikawa asked and patted the seat next to him on the couch.

Kenma ignored that and sat down on the armchair next to the couch.

“Ouch, that was mean. You’re just as cold as Iwa-chan”, he sulked.

“Am I hearing some complaints about me?” Iwaizumi was standing behind him with Kenma’s glass of water looking like he was about to pour it over Oikawa.

“No, no, I’d never dare to”, he exaggerated and grinned.

“That’s good to hear because someone almost claimed the couch as his sleeping place for tonight with his thoughtless statements just now” Iwaizumi replied.

Oikawa laughed. “Don’t be so stingy, I was only joking.”

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes but he didn’t say anything.

“Now thanks for bringing Kenma his drink-“ Oikawa took the glass and handed it to Kenma “-but we’re trying to have a nice little chat here.” He stared at him and motioned to another door.

“Oh, excuse me! I’m sorry that I was walking around my own damn apartment!” He stomped to the door and opened it violently. “And you’re sleeping on the couch tonight!”

Oikawa didn’t seem to be concerned by Iwaizumi’s little outburst and flashed Kenma a smile when he saw his troubled expression. “Don’t worry about him, he’s never angry for a long time.”

Kenma nodded and unconsciously stared at the glass in his hand. He had no idea how to start the conversation, his plan didn’t go that far.

“So, I assume you figured it out since you’re here. Are you bothered?”

He shrugged but yes, he was bothered. A lot. Otherwise he wouldn’t have come all the way to Oikawa to ask for advice. “I’m not so much bothered by the fact that they have been in a relationship – I never expected Kuroo to not have had relationships before – but rather that he wanted to keep it secret. Does that mean it was so special that he didn’t want me to find out? And Tsukishima of all people! No offense, I know that you’re friends, but I don’t think it’s a secret that we don’t get along that well.”

“They have been together for quite some time, that’s true. They were two idiots experimenting around, it was the first relationship that lasted longer than two weeks for both of them. I think you can imagine that both of them weren’t that lovey-dovey back then but you should ask Kuroo directly about things like this. He didn’t want you to know because he was worried that you’d get too worked up.”

He knew that talking to Kuroo would simply be the best option but if it was that easy he wouldn’t be sitting here on Iwaizumi’s couch.

“The thing is, Kuroo can’t read minds. You can ask him about these things, he won’t get mad or break up with you if that’s what you’re worried about”, Oikawa said, being serious for once in a while. “In fact nobody would break up because of that, you’re way too anxious. Just talk to him!”

Kenma nodded but he wasn’t convinced. “What if he says that I’m annoying?”

Oikawa sighed. “Sometimes you really frustrate me. He put up with Tsukishima for two years, I’m sure that you’re ten times less annoying that him. In fact, you’re always calm and thoughtful, that’s exactly what makes you so nice to have around. We’re all pretty loud and energetic and I’d be lying if I said that we’re not annoyingeach other sometimes so you make a good balance to Kuroo’s personality, if that makes sense. Have some confidence and talk to him, you’re thinking too complicatedly.”

“So you think he wouldn’t mind?”

“Of course not. And I think you’re pretty cute, so if he ever breaks up I’d take you in a heartbeat instead”, Oikawa winked and then started laughing at Kenma’s shocked expression.

“Now enough with this serious talk. Since you’re here already it’s my duty to tell you some embarrassing stories about Kuroo before you go”, Oikawa grinned and put his feet up on the couch.

 

Kenma couldn’t believe how much of a difference it had made that he had spoken to Oikawa. He had texted Kuroo and now he was heading over to his place, determined to discuss this matter.

But when he arrived Kuroo greeted him hastily and disappeared seconds later. Kenma slipped out of his shoes and followed him inside.

“I’m in here!” Kuroo shouted from Bokuto’s room.

Kenma walked in slowly to see both of them on Bokuto’s new couch and glued to the TV.

“We’re playing the new COD part, it’s really – Ohh, no scope! Did you see that? Anyways, do you want to play with us?” Kuroo held his controller up.

“I haven’t played these games for ages, I’m not that good”, Kenma objected.

“Doesn’t matter! Come on, take the controller”, Bokuto boomed.

Kuroo pressed the controller in Kenma’s hand and swapped places with him.

“You’re playing a one on one against Bokuto, he has two kills more than me”, he explained while Kenma ran around the map.

In the end, after a lot of enthusiastic shouting and swearing, Kenma managed to win with three kills more than Bokuto.

“Yeah, you’re not that good. You can go and tell that your grandma, how did you learn to play like that?” Bokuto beamed.

“I played these games a lot during high school but they got repetitive and monotonous after a while so I lost interest”, he explained and shrugged. He didn’t like to play online, too many annoying people, so he preferred the stories but they started to bore him after some time.

Kuroo grinned. “That’s going to change, we need strong men like you on board.”

Kenma couldn’t help but laugh. How could he refuse such an offer?

They played a few more rounds, not keeping track of the time. Bokuto called Akaashi to come over and join them but apparently he didn’t think much of the idea because he never showed up.  It was already pitch black outside and it has gotten quiet in the dorm when they finally decided to continue the game another time. Kuroo and Kenma retreated to his room.

Kuroo let himself fall on the bed. “Ugh, I’m dead beat. How can you focus for such a long time?”

“I don’t know, usually I don’t notice how much time passes”. Kenma sat down on the bed as well. He wasn’t sure if now was the right time to talk about everything, they were both getting tired. “So what are we going to do now?”

“Whatever you want, you name it and I’ll do it”, Kuroo winked.

“Oh shut up”, he said, but he smiled.

“How about we go and grab some coffee?” Kuroo suddenly suggested.

“It’s late and we have uni tomorrow. Besides, I don’t drink coffee”, Kenma said sceptically.

But Kuroo was already getting up and putting on a coat. “I know a place that doesn’t only serve coffee, their other drinks are delicious, trust me. And you wouldn’t go to bed until 1 am even if we have uni the next day.”

He shook his head and laughed. “You’re starting to figure out my bad habits, I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not.” Then he grabbed Kuroo’s hand and got off the bed as well.

“I’ll just quickly go to my dorm room to get a jacket, I’ll be back in two minutes”, Kenma said.

“Try this one, it’s quite small on me so it should fit you.” Kuroo handed him a black jacket.

His hands were almost completely swallowed up by the long sleeves, only his finger tips were visible. He looked even smaller in it than usual but after he rolled up the sleeves it fit a bit better.

“See, it looks great, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah..thanks for lending it to me.” Kenma rubbed his neck.

 

The coffee shop was small and in urgent need of a renovation. The plaster was peeling off and the neon sign of the second ‘e’ of ‘coffee’ was constantly flashing on and off. Nevertheless the inside was surprisingly pleasant. It was cosy and little barriers separated the tables from each other. Kenma could see how this was a practical place to study. They sat down in a corner, a bit away from the door.

Kenma studied the drink menu but he hadn’t even read half of it yet when the waitress was already standing at their table.

Kuroo ordered coffee and Kenma quickly glanced over the menu to find something that sounded appealing.

“Try the chai tea with extra caramel, it’s pretty good here.” Kuroo said.

“I’ll give that one a try then”, Kenma said to the waitress. “I’ve never tried chai tea before, do you like it?” he asked Kuroo.

“Nah, it’s too sweet for my liking but I’m sure that you’ll enjoy it. Yamaguchi drinks nothing else whenever we stop by here”, Kuroo smiled, resting his head on his palm.

Kenma pulled on the sleeves of his sweater while thinking about how to bring the topic of Tsukishima up. He didn’t feel like it was the right time to discuss something so serious but was there ever a right time?

“So is this your regular café?” He managed a nervous smile.

“We come here quite often because it’s so close to the dorm. Have you never been here before?”

Kenma shook his head. “I didn’t even know about this place until today but I think it’s nice here.”

Their drinks arrived soon since there were barely any customers, considering how late it was.

Kenma inspected his drink sceptically. He could see strings of caramel floating around the warm tea. It wasn’t too hot so he took a sip. It tastes better than he had expect, sweet but not too sugary, it reminded him off gingerbread and cinnamon.

“Do you like it?” Kuroo asked and grinned.

“It’s...fine.” Kenma replied after becoming aware of how utterly couply this scene was. One person choosing a drink for the other one.

“That’s good then.” Kuroo smiled – Kenma could tell that it was genuine – and pried Kenma’s right hand off the cup to put it in his.

He always wondered how Kuroo could do all these things so easily. He took his hand, no hesitating or glancing around, and held it firmly. Kenma wasn’t as confident, he knew that he could never act so casual, but he still wanted to show that it wasn’t Kuroo alone who initiated everything so he squeezed his hand tightly around Kuroo’s, not pulling away either.

“Kuroo, there’s something important I wanted to talk about. Maybe not here, some place where we could be alone would be better.”

There it was. He said it.

For a moment he thought he saw confusion wash over Kuroo’s face but he immediately replaced it with his usual unreadable smirk. “Well, it lasted longer than I expected”, he said, a hint of dejection in his voice. Kenma had no idea what he meant by that. “Bokuto isn’t here tomorrow in the afternoon, would that be alright?”

Kenma nodded. Did he say something wrong?

Kuroo let go of Kenma’s hand. “It’s late after all. Let’s pay and go back to our rooms.”

“But I haven’t even finished half of my drink.”

Something was definitely wrong. All the way back to the dorm it felt like Kuroo was as unapproachable and distant as he had been before they had started dating. Kenma wanted to say something but he didn’t know how to improve this situation.

When they eventually had to go into different directions Kuroo didn’t give him a goodbye kiss, he didn’t even hug him. He simply patted his head and wished him a good night. Then he walked away, leaving Kenma standing in the corridor, baffled and upset.

 

A similar scene happened the next day when Kenma showed up at Kuroo’s dorm room. He greeted him, ruffled his hair and when they sat down at the kitchen table he chose the place opposite to Kenma. Kuroo was behaving extremely strange, especially since he was usually a touchy-feely person and always claimed the seat next to Kenma, no matter what.

“I-I...there is something...” Kenma started after receiving an expectant look from Kuroo. “I don’t know how to bring this up properly...”

“Take your time to find the right words, I’m not going to run away.” Kuroo feigned a smile.

Kenma took a deep breath. Apparently that’s what people do when they’re about to discuss serious topics so maybe it’d help him to get the words out as well. “Tsukishima told me that you two were a couple for about two years. And you decided to keep that secret for what reason exactly?”

“I should have known that you’d find out sooner or later. It was a bad idea to not tell you about it right from the start”, Kuroo said, running his hands through his hair. “It’s no big deal, that’s in the past and it doesn’t matter. I didn’t want to add to all the things that made you so anxious so I thought I might as well tell you later.”

Kenma narrowed his eyes. “So you didn’t use me to make Tsukishima jealous and get him to like you again?”

“What? Of course not!” Kuroo blinked at him owlishly. He’d be laughing if the situation wasn’t too important. “I’d never do something as low as that. Besides, as if I’d want to be in a relationship with that idiot again.”

Now it was Kenma’s turn to be confused. “But what about all the innuendos you made when we were all here? I was so sure that you were trying to make him jealous.”

“I was only teasing him because – promise me you won’t tell this to anyone?” Kuroo asked.

Kenma shrugged. He didn’t really care all too much about Tsukishima’s secret, he was still trying to figure out if Kuroo was serious or not.  

“Ok, he’s head over heels for Yamaguchi who’s so oblivious it’s almost ridiculous. Therefore we made it to our hobby to tease him about it whenever we can. Don’t look so disapproving, we know when to stop”, Kuroo explained.

Kenma was still frowning. It wasn’t ok to make fun of someone’s feelings, not even if it’s Tsukishima. But he trusted Kuroo in knowing where the limit was and someone with Tsukishima’s ego could probably handle it just fine.

“So that was all that is to it?”

Kuroo nodded his head in agreement. “Yup, that’s all.”

“You are an idiot! You made me worry so much and all for nothing.” Kenma kicked him under the table. “By hiding it you made it only worse, if you’d have told me the truth right from the start everything would’ve been fine!”

“So this is what you wanted to talk about?” Kuroo started laughing and flashed him a bright smile. “I get it, no more secrets.”

“Why are you so relieved? What did you think I wanted to talk about?”

“I thought you wanted to break up with me.”

“Me? I’m the one who’s constantly worried about that. I’d never think of breaking up with you.” Kenma said, remembering something Oikawa said. _The thing is, Kuroo can’t read minds._ “I’m sorry, that’s probably because I never tell you anything either. Sometimes I forget that you can’t guess what’s on my mind.”

“You are hard to figure out sometimes, you know?” Kuroo sighed, getting up from his chair and sitting down next to Kenma.

Kenma leaned on his shoulder and pulled his legs up. They stayed like this for a while, quiet.

“I think you’re actually pretty cool. And you’re always so confident. I like your large hands. Your hair looks ridiculous but it suits you. And you have good taste in movies. Overall you’re amazing and you must be stupid to think that I’d break up with you.” Good thing that Kuroo was now sitting next to him because Kenma was sure that he wouldn’t have been able to say that right to his face. “I hope you’re happy now.”

“Kenma?”

He looked up from Kuroo’s shoulder. Kenma had never seen Kuroo this flustered, he was almost as red as he himself. He cupped Kenma’s face and lightly bumped their foreheads together.

“Thanks, for being honest I mean.”

Then he started to slowly peck Kenma’s face, starting at his forehead, his nose, his cheeks, until he reached his mouth. He kissed him, this time more passionately and Kenma responded by wrapping his arms around him to pull him even closer.

They stayed like this for a while, huddled together on the bench. Kenma had his face nuzzled against Kuroo’s neck while he was hugging him tightly. Kenma wanted this moment to last forever. Both of them cuddling, no talking. He hummed with content, noticing that he was starting to get sleepy.

“Hey, Bokuto could come back any moment”, Kuroo whispered.

Kenma shrugged. “It’s too comfy, I don’t want to get up.”

“I don’t mind either. Then let’s just stay like this for a while.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Help, this chapter took me so long. I hadn't planned to write this at all so I had some trouble to come up with a plot at first. The big secret was probably pretty anticlimatic but I wanted to focus rather on Kenma's character development, I hope I didn't disappoint you guys.  
> Just treat this as an additional chapter or an epilogue^^ Nevertheless I hope you enjoyed this story, thanks for all the messages (they make my day, seriously, I can't thank you all enough) and everything else. Thanks for reading and have a nice day or night.


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